Friday, November 28, 2008

You're Not A Guy, You're A Kendall

I'm a wee bit old fashioned. I'll admit it.

I was raised by an 80 year-old Spanish woman and two lesbians, so I grew up...oddly. Of those three, only one is still alive but sadly moved back to Boston in January.

Because of them, I am a very polite individual by nature. Until the time I was 15, I would stand whenever a female left the table. I kid you not. I always say please and thank you and I use the words sir and ma'am a lot. If I am walking out a door and I even see someone who might use it as well, even if they're 20 seconds away, I will stop and hold it for them. I can't help it.

I did not know quite how to take it when The Ginger told me I was too nice when I held the door for someone.

This also applies to my relationships.

I couldn't do a one-night stand. I'm not even sure I could pull a "friends with benefits" type deal. I highly doubt it. Cheating is out of the question.

Maybe rape did have some positive effects. I don't see sex as just something to do nor do I try and sleep with everything in a skirt. Despite rumours to the contrary. I need to love someone to be intimate with them. I spent far too long thinking of myself as used goods to cheapen the act.

Is it really that strange for a 20 year-old guy NOT to sleep around?

Eva was amazed that it took me as long as I did to get to that point. I remember one particular fight over the summer where I tried to explain to her why I didn't have sex with her and how it was not because I did not find her attractive. I just...wasn't in love with her yet.

“Sex is more than an act of pleasure, it's the ability to be able to feel so close to a person, so connected, so comfortable that it's almost breathtaking to the point you feel you can’t take it. And at this moment you're a part of them."


Am I naive?

Maybe.

But I like being able to look in the mirror and not see "used goods" anymore.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Turkey Day '08

I'm sitting at the kitchen table in my parents' house writing this. I'm tired, in a wee bit of stomach pain, and overall satisfied with the day.

Cool Things That Happened:

1. As soon as I arrived this morning, me, my mom, and my sister started cooking breakfast. French toast, scrambled eggs, Smith sausage, and hash browns. It was delish.

2. Uncle E & The Lady Friend finally admitted they were married. I saw The Grandmother starting to say something negative so I stepped in and gave them both hugs. Why would she be unhappy at her youngest brother being married? Well...it may have something to do with the fact that his wife is white.

3. Me, The Mini-Me, and Aunt C decorating The Godmother's Christmas tree.

4. Speaking of The Godmother, I got to have a ball teasing her about a man in her life whom I shall refer to as Hopeful Godfather (HG for short). She has been divorced since before I was born and I am happy to see her spending time with someone.

5. Eva had me stop by for a while at her mom's where I had homemade apple cider for the first time. I think I'm just addicted to any apple product.

The one bad thing to happen today was me not really being able to eat Thanksgiving dinner. Know the saying "I am my own worst enemy." In my case, that's true. My stomach is my worst enemy. Le sigh.

I managed to get along with The Grandmother and my dad so I am feeling quite accomplished today. Sadly a lot of the people I wanted to see didn't come to town.

I figure since today was Thanksgiving and all, I should name at least one thing I am thankful for.

Here goes...

I am thankful for the people in my life. They who have accepted me for who I really am and love me anyway. Who I can go to for a hug, a laugh, or just a simple smile. I am thankful that I have been blessed to know them and try my best to help them be happy. So thanks guys, even when I am on a sugar high from hell and you want to duct tape my mouth shut, I still love you.

Now I need to get to sleep as me and Scarlett are braving Black Friday in Raleigh tomorrow.

Oh and I am also thankful for this



Thank you Far! I love it.

Enjoy your Turkey Day/Thursday Everyone!

P. S. Please be safe.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Doing The Best I Can

I hadn't planned on posting this week as between my test tonight, planning a Thanksgiving dinner yesterday, a new research project, and finalizing my plans for this weekend, I've been stretched a wee bit thin. However I felt I should share something with y'all.

Allow me to admit something, I have bouts of pretty low self-esteem. Which means that I have trouble believing people when they say good things about me. I'm better about it than I used to be, but I can never be called egotistical.

After our mini-Thanksgiving; me, Eva, and Daybreak were on her couch under a blanket. Daybreak had fallen asleep sitting on my lap while me and Eva were talking quietly. I never realized I was doing it but I had started stroking Daybreak's hair and humming.

Eva just watched me, smiling.

Me: What is it?
Eva: Just enjoying the scene.
Me: What scene?
Eva: You and Daybreak.
Me: I'm still lost here.
Eva: You are very good with her for someone who thinks he would be a horrible dad.
Me: She deserves a better one.
Eva: In her eyes, there couldn't be a better one. And I'm starting to agree with her.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

A Letter To Eva

Dear Eva,

Six months ago tomorrow, you lost all common sense decided that you really did want to date me and it wasn't just a passing bit of insanity. Where has all the time gone?

I tried to fight against you liking me.

I remember back in May when I tried to explain why you shouldn't date me. You sat through my explanations, held my hand when some old emotions resurfaced, and nodding to show you were listening. You then placed a hand on my cheek and thanked me for being honest. I was waiting for you to put me out of your life.

It never happened.

I was sure you could do so very much better than me. Someone more attractive, someone funnier, someone nicer, someone not as dorky, just better all around.

You were amused at how terrified I was to meet your family. I figured your mom and little sister were flukes, no way my luck could hold out. Strangely enough your family seemed to like me and your sisters and mom have actually accepted me. I look back on how nervous I was for that Myrtle Beach trip and have to shake my head. Sorry for being such a spaz Hon.

I still need to thank Imogen for finally getting through my stubbornness the night of our first date. Had she been there, I wouldn't have to confront feelings for you (at least not at the moment) as doing so was a frightening prospect back then.

You've somehow managed to not get fed up with me in six months. How, considering that I like to tease, is a mystery.

You and Daybreak have become such a large part of my life in such a short amount of time. It seems like just yesterday me and you were just friends who helped each other study for ridiculously difficult psych tests. Now we've actually talked about the possibility of renting a townhouse together, even though it's been vetoed at this moment in time.

You constantly tell me that you are sure you had made the right decision in liking and later loving me. I thought I was going to jump out my skin when I felt you kiss me on the back of the neck that night.

I want to make this work. And I'm brave enough to admit I'm scared that I will screw up this relationship. I can't help it.

For some reason you think I am a wonderful person and I suppose that all I can do is try my best to prove you right.

Then last night you admitted you would actually like to marry me. It wasn't a proposal and you weren't expecting an answer but it still changed things. When asked, I told you that had you actually asked me to marry you I'd have said no for now.

Remember that I also said for now.

The future, after all, has yet to be written.

I have seen you at your best and your worst. I've seen you with no makeup and bedhead to looking like you walked off the cover of a fashion magazine. I've seen you in tears. I've helped take care of you when you're sick, massaged you when cramps or stress set in, and tried to listen and help with your problems.

I love that you can make me smile and laugh. I love that you are willing to listen and genuinely care what I have to say. I love that you can and will tell me when you think I am wrong and try and help me get on track.

You have helped to teach me to trust in myself and I don't know how to repay you for that.

You carved out a space for yourself in my heart.

Even when I tease you and sing annoying songs just to get them stuck in your head.

I only do it because I care.



Love,

Kendall

Friday, November 21, 2008

I'll Take the Minefield for $200, Alex

I'm looking after Daybreak today while Eva is working and I thought I'd share a little conversation we had before she laid down for a nap. The munchkin was tuckered out after watching X-Men (she has said Hugh Jackman will be her husband one day) and us working on building a LEGO castle.

Daybreak: So you and Mommy are going dancing?

Me: Yes Sweetie.

Daybreak: You and Mommy have been together six months right?

Me: Almost. Monday will make six months.

Daybreak: So when am I going to get a baby sister?

Me: I think you're child enough for both of us Daybreak.

Daybreak: What's taking so long? I've been waiting practically forever.

Me: Daybreak, you're four. It's not like you're an old maid.

Daybreak: But...but...fine. Can you two at least get married? You love Mommy and Mommy loves you, what's the hold up?

At this point, I can't keep a straight face any longer and am nearly crying from laughter. Daybreak got very put out and decided I deserved to be tickled for laughing at her serious concerns.

I swear that I act my age sometimes.

Now I'm going to get some homework done before my ball of energy and questions wakes back up.

Hope y'all have a fabulous weekend.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Talking With Strangers = Kids Don't Try This At Home

Know how your parents always told you not to talk to strangers? Well apparently I never really listened to that lesson. I think it's my conditioning from years of journalism.

I'm sitting on a bench during my lunch break, reading A Lion Among Men, when an elderly man sits down beside me. He leans forward on his cane and looks at me from the corner of his eye.

Man: Is that a good book?

Me: Yes sir, I actually like them better than the original Oz books.

The man nods with an odd smile and then makes a rather random comment.

Man: It's always nice to see young men reading and not wasting time on their XStations.

I almost correct him when I notice the smirk.

Man: You know my wife, God rest her soul, was a bookworm herself. Rainy days she would sit in the kitchen with whatever book she found laying around.

Me: That's how I am. I'm sorry for your loss.

Man: I won't lie, I didn't know how I would go on for a while. Plus we had two girls, one about your age and one who had just turned 12.

Me: What happened?

Man: It was breast cancer. When she found out it was terminal, she never really quit living and even died with a smile.

Me: Your wife sounds like an amazing person.

Man: Oh that she was. She lived every day to her fullest and I can only try and do the same. I've fought in Korea and 'Nam, and one thing that hell taught me is that all we can hope for is that when we go we leave something that will last beyond our lifetimes. That we did something good.

Me: I think if I can look God in the eye and say honestly that I had no talent left because I used everything He gave me, I would have made full use of my time here.

He rubs his chin and nods before looking up the road at the bus one stop away.

Man: That's a good way of looking at it. Well young man, I must be going. I wish you well in life. Oh and be sure to work with your lady. Humans aren't meant to be alone.

As the man was getting on the bus, something clicks in my head. I never told this man I was in a relationship so how could he say that with such assurance?



Now while y'all try and ponder that one, I'm going to eat some dinner and change clothes. Why? Well, I may be going to a certain movie premiere tonight. I can neither confirm nor deny whether it involves vampires or not.

Happy trails!

Wednesday Workshop: Two For One Special, That'll Be $4.78 Please

Hey folks, it's that time again. Because I am so dull awesome, I'm going to be doing two prompts this week. The first of this week's prompts from Mama Kat is

4.) Write about something that bothered you this week.
5...4...3...2...1...

I am not close to either of my parents. I never have been and I doubt I ever really will be. My mom worked all the time and my dad...well he did anything but hang around us. So when my mom had a new job when I was 15 and wanted to spend time with me, I was really really jaded towards her. Still am, I suppose. We've made progress since then but she is not someone I go to with my problems.

So with Thanksgiving coming up I needed to finalize my plans. I called her before heading to my first graders this morning where she kind of started to give me the fifth degree because I wouldn't be getting there until Thursday morning and don't plan to stay any longer than Saturday afternoon.

She asked me why I couldn't come home Wednesday. I replied that I had a test Wednesday night and would rather not have to drive an hour and a half afterward. And as for me leaving on Saturday, I've learned my lesson about spending too much time there.

I won't go into specifics but my last visit consisted mainly of arguing, tears, and alcohol. Not even necessarily in that order.

Then afterward I feel guilty that I am not staying longer though I know good and well that I'd be miserable. So when my cousins leave, I won't be far behind them. I was actually told I was being childish for not wanting to be around fighting parents.

Maybe I'm just tired of having to be the adult.

==================

To end on a lighthearted note, here's my second prompt:

1.) The last time I laughed really hard...
5...4...3...2...1...

After Bio lecture had let out, I met The Pop Queen in the building and decided to catch up with her while I still had some free time. While we were sitting, this girl who neither of us knew came up to us who I shall refer to as C and started chatting to me.

What was my name?

What was my major?

What I liked to do for fun?

After she's pretty much asked me for my life story, she asks if I would like to come to her sorority's party on Friday night.

Now me being my lovable dense self, I don't realize that this woman has been hitting on me the entire conversation until The Pop Queen has to muffle her laughter in her scarf in order to remain inconspicuous. Once C has left, The Pop Queen fills me in on what I failed to notice.

Later in the night, I get the following test message from The Pop Queen:

"So are you going to that party, because I would feel weird going without you since she just said I could come because you're my bbf (black best friend) and she was pretty hot. Since you're dating [Eva], think you could send her my way? Please and thank you."


Cue laughter. I heart my twin.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

The Bigger Blog Swap



20SB Blog Swap 3

Todays guest post is brought to you by
MissK
from
Pictures & Post-Its.
This is all part of the 20 Something Bloggers "Blog Swap 3".
Don't forget to go check out my post over on her site.




Hey folks, this is Kendall. For those expecting a Wednesday Workshop, you're out of luck today sorry but I may still participate tomorrow if I have time after work. Anyways, today is the Blog Swap 3 from 20Something Bloggers which has had me excited for quite a while. Be sure to check back later for my own guest post (which I shall link to). Now enjoy yourselves! And in case you're wondering, yes that was an order. Just kidding. Kinda.

Hi everyone! I'm not terribly good at introductions, and I rarely make a good first impression, but I am MissK from www.picturesandpostits.wordpress.com . I'm here, taking part in a blog swap organized by 20 Something Bloggers. My blog is relatively new, and mostly I just post pictures, or the occasional post it note. I'll be the first to admit I'm struggling a little to think of something to blog about here... I'm guessing I'm going to need something more than a dodgy happy snap to fill the space.

This has lead me to spend entirely too much time thinking of something to blog about, and you know what I came up with? Several ideas that sounded good in theory, but when I started writing ended up sounding kind of lame.

I considered blogging about why I took my current job, and why I love it even through all the less enjoyable parts, because I am constantly asked why I do my job as opposed to something with less exposure to animal cruelty and euthanasia, but then I realized that would then give away where I worked, and I've had stalkers before - I don't need anymore of them.

Then I wondered if maybe I could blog about how I am struggling with a few people who were once great friends, but lately seem to have drifted and now it's all weird because we both know we've drifted but for some stupid reason we're both still pretending we care. Then I thought that could've lead into how you decide when a friendship has run its course and what is the best way to go about ending it with as little mess as possible. I decided I am not smart enough to do this.

I also wondered if maybe I could talk about how I've just found out I've got some horrible kidney problem and it's all going to hell in a handbasket for me, health wise, right about now... but then I remembered I haven't told my employers yet, and people I work for have a stunning ability to find my blogs and then call me out on things I've posted in them.

Then I realized I'm posting on a teacher's blog, and now I'm concerned about my spelling and grammar and ohmygoodness don't mention the fact that you were never taught and still don't know the difference between a noun and an adjective. And his blogroll is HUGE, and that's a lot of people that might be looking right at me if I stuff this up. This would surely be followed by some kind of hyperventilating.

Interestingly enough, this has just proved how bad I am at making decisions. And apparently, how much of a people pleaser I am. Possibly even that I worry too much. What is interesting, though, is that small decsions I am bad at. Big decisions, I'm pretty good at. Give me the task of choosing which DVD to watch on Saturday night, and I will fail in epic fashion and we will end up watching bad Saturday night TV. Give me the task of selecting a new car, and I will decide in about 5.4 seconds.

It's a bizarre phenomenon.

I simply do not understand myself. Anyone else have this problem where they will compose pro-con lists over whether they have pizza or pasta for dinner, but decide within all of thirty seconds that they're going to give up full time employment with all sorts of benefits to work for yourself in an industry you had no experience in?

You know what else I learned about myself?

I suck at guest posting.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I've Never Been Normal...

And this is no different.

Most people do not consider their ex a friend. Fewer still consider them their best friend.

Well I'm not called an odd duck for nothing, am I?

Me and Tinkerbell are still very close, we've had our ups and downs but I know that if I ever needed help she would do all she could and I would do the same for her. Basically all that's changed is that we don't have romantic feelings for each other.

I look back on the early part of the summer where I actually thought I could stop loving her and have to shake my head. I was miserable and guilty and, all in all, not that fun a person to be around. Then Eva sat me down and told me flat-out that I didn't have it in me not to love someone who meant so much to me. I tried to explain that it was wrong of me to feel that way when she asked me why I thought I should be normal now when I never had been before. So I stopped stressing about it.

And lo and behold, I was much happier.

She taught me that I did deserve to be loved and that everyone deserves a second chance. It is her influence that is the reason why I am so forgiving now. She taught me to do all I can to keep my promises. She also beat into my head that I was not trash and that I actually am a good person. She would argue that and say I'm a wonderful person to which I respond "baby steps." I have been truly blessed to have her in my life and wonder what I would do without her.

You kept me from killing myself and then helped me figure out who I was and I can never really repay you for that. Won't stop me from trying though. You know better than anyone that I am nothing if not stubborn.

You try and say you are nothing special. I merely ask that you remember our motto: "Sometimes the way we see ourselves isn't as true as the way others see us."

You're my best friend Tinkerbell, and I love you dearly.

Thank you for all you have done for me Darlin'.

And always remember...

Monday, November 17, 2008

To Teach And Never Be Weary

"Mr. Kendall?"

"Yes Lulu?"

"Why do you want to be a teacher?"

20 sets of eyes looked to me for my answer, 19 from their spots on the floor and the last from Frizzle as she did paperwork on her desk. Reading circle

I looked over to the left and asked Skittles, a small and rather outspoken girl, if she remembered when she hugged me after I helped her with her reading. She nodded but was still confused as to where I was going with this.

That moment when she could move from letters to syllables to words to sentences with increasing confidence was what destroyed any doubts I had that teaching was what I wanted to do with my life. I always knew I wanted a career that could help people in some way, shape, or form. I just wasn't entirely sure what that would be.

Helping a child reach their heights and move on beyond them has become my goal. And I am nothing if not single-mindedly determined when I set my mind to something. I have never wanted a job where it is the same thing every day and this is something where I'm guaranteed to be doing something different.

I remember a professor of mine once saying that teaching is a draining profession. That you give and give with nothing in return until you are but a husk of your former self.

I disagree with this view emphatically.

I see a teacher as one who does continually give of themselves yes, however, we are given something in return besides an unappreciative salary. To know you had a hand, however small, in someone else's success is an amazing feeling and one I hope I never feel numb to.

I'll find another line of work when that happens.

Is this going to be difficult?

Yes but often times the most worthwhile things in life are.



And if they aren't worthwhile, I don't know who is.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Hasta Luego, Mi Hermanito

As me and Scarlett were looking for affordable housing around town yesterday, a wave of sadness hit me. The Bait is graduating (early) and when he leaves, I lose my roommate and one of the handful of close guy friends I have. Hence getting an early jump on house hunting.

He'll be headed to Boston for grad school in June and I'll miss him. To add some salt in it, Pippi will more than likely go with him.

We've known each other since we were 13 and have been friends since we were 16. It's funny to think about now but we honestly disliked each other for a long while.

He thought I was nothing but a hood who didn't belong in honours classes. Let's just say I had a bad reputation in middle school.

I thought he was an arrogant prick who took himself far too seriously.

We're mature enough now to admit that I did have an attitude problem and that he really was an arrogant little shitstain (his words, not mine).

When people get to know both of us they wonder how me and him can be such good friends. We'll be the first to admit that all we really have in common is that we are both smart and we are both Catholic. Then came the trip to Italy in the summer of 2004 and that was the birth of our friendship. What brought us together?

An arcade game called House of the Dead 3. Killing zombies with shotguns, hearing the crowd that had gathered cheer on the "gun loving Americans", somehow in the midst of this we became friends. Don't ask me how.

I won't have someone to rib about their mishaps in the kitchen.

I won't have someone to laugh at as they and my puppy have a power struggle.

So to The Bait...

You taught me how to surf.

I finally got you to see how crazy Pippi was about you.

You sponsored me for Confirmation.

I've tried to teach you how to cook and found much amusement in how truly inept you were.

I'll miss having someone to argue politics with living right across the hallway from me.

I'll miss the insightful and random conversations me, you, and Pippi have on our way to Mass on Sunday mornings.

I'll miss our heavily one-sided wrestling matches.

So good luck you lazy bastard. And you had best bring your ass back for the holidays or I will come looking for you.

Your communist radical liberal brother from another mother,

Kendall

Friday, November 14, 2008

"Who Loves Ya, Baby?"

Tonight's a short post, sorry folks.

I make no secret of the fact that I am a nerd.

So when Scarlett called me yesterday and said they had bought Gears of War 2 for the XBOX 360, there was no way I or The Bait were going to turn down coming over to play it. Is it strange that I find butchering masses of monsters while making quips with my friends relaxing?

Maybe.

Now ask me if I give a horse's left nut.

Folks, the nerd in me was near orgasmic level in happiness. Take a short gander as to why.



Best quote of the night (Me and Scarlett vs Marilyn and The Bait):

Scarlett: "Kendall?"
Me: "Yes?"
Scarlett: "I drive, you shoot."
Marilyn/The Bait: "Shit."

This is going to be my last post until Monday probably so hope everyone has a safe and relaxing weekend.

P. S. Bonus points if anyone can tell me where this post's title comes from.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Yes I Have An Accent; Is There A Problem?

Being stereotyped is nothing new to me. I'm a black guy standing at 5'11 and about 190 lbs, it's something I long ago learned was going to happen. Stereotypes regarding my appearance I try and let just roll off my back, it's difficult but it's better than becoming bitter right? I long ago lost count of how many times I've had women cross the street from me in fright if I'm walking at night but that's a whole other post in itself.

So in my 20 years of life I have never had this happen.

I was serving two guys and a girl about my age and as I asked them what they wanted to drink both burst out into laughter. I was confused.

The girl said it was good they were giving people from the area jobs near campus and freeing up for students for studying.

Hold the phone.

Pasting a shit-eating grin on my face, I explained that I was a student and this was how I paid for my bills and rent.

They looked at each other in shock and the guy had the balls to ask me to show my student ID. I flashed it and they asked if I was a student, why would I have a southern accent? The other guy said he didn't know they allowed hicks in.

So because I grew up in the country, I'm not intelligent?

I guess that 3.8 GPA is just pity then.

Who knew?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Wednesday Workshop: The Day My World Stood Still

It's that time again, folks. My assignment from Mama Kat this week goes as follows:

5.) The first time you...


It was tempting to put the story of my first kiss here but I'm not up for embarrassing myself today. I'll just say that I was dense and leave it at that. So instead I chose a day that snowballed events to where they are now.

Most dads consider the first time their child calls them dad or some equivalent one of their landmark moments. I'm no different, even if my moment was unorthodox.

5...4...3...2...1...

It was Eva's backyard; she, Daybreak, and I were sitting on a blanket in the grass. Me and Eva had our psych notes out quizzing each other, while Daybreak used my back as a steady for her colouring book. I was about to ask her what the signs of sociopathy in children are when Daybreak says clearly, "Papa, can you move? You're not in the Sun."

I froze. Eva looked to the small blond perched on my back. "Daybreak, who are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Papa."

"Daybreak, I'm not your papa."

She moved to sit down in front of us and tilted her head to the side. "Why not?"

Her mom took up the explanation when I couldn't. "It doesn't work like that Sweetie. Kendall is our friend. "

The first bits of tears were welling up in her eyes. And with every one, my heart hurt just a little bit more.

She looked me in the eye and asked why I didn't want her either. I sat up and hugged her. "I can only be your friend because you deserve a much better papa than me. You deserve the best."

Small arms wrapped around my neck as she started to cry in earnest. I heard her mumble "really?" into my shoulder. Eva was stroking her back and as I was telling Daybreak yes I noticed Eva giving me a strange look.

She ended up crying herself to sleep that afternoon.

That was the middle of April. I was terrified that this little girl adored me so much that she would want me to be her dad. A little tidbit about me folks, I more often think with my heart than my head and I love people quickly. This was no different.

I told Daybreak she deserved better than me. That makes my job simple to figure out.

I have to become better.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

A Public Service Announcement

Folks, I've worked in restaurants off and on since the summer of 2003. I would like to think I have a good idea of what I'm doing by now. That being said, I don't necessarily need you to nitpick at every little thing in our restaurant.

When the hostess on duty tells you that it will be a few minutes for a table to be cleaned, she isn't giving you the go ahead to sit down. If you see me clearing a table, don't assume it's free yet. That is rather disgusting. If you do perform the preceding action, do not ask me to please hurry up and then have the cojones to look at me like I'm holding up your day.

Then there is tipping. Tips equal a waiter/waitress's lifeblood. I long ago learned how to smile at someone despite how annoyed they made me. I make sure you and your party always have drinks and that your food is out as soon as possible. I joke around to make your stay more enjoyable. So when I come to start cleaning off your table, I hate to see only dishes and used napkins left behind. This makes me think it is not worth it.

Speaking to the guys out there, if the female waitress repeatedly tells you to stop hitting on her and then you proceed to grab her wrist we will escort your ass out. If you try and fight me on this, I will not be gentle on doing so. Oh and don't threaten to try and get me fired because I moved out of the way of your fist. The fact that my boss laughed in your face should prove how stupid that is.

That concludes this PSA. You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming. Thank you.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Spreadin' the Love

I've gotten my second award from Diane, this one is a friendship award which made me smile.



This is the Proximidade Award, which celebrates bloggy friendships. It means, "This blog invests and believes in 'proximity' [meaning, that blogging makes us 'close' - being close through proxy]." I now have to pass it on to at least 8 other people which makes me sad because I have other people to give this to as well.

So my entourage goes as follows:

Mich
Dee
Tiff
Jess
Lady X
Tricia
CG
Mindy (coincidentally the only person here who knows my last name -- because of Fbook)

This makes me laugh as my blog friends imitate my friends in real life as every one on that list is a woman.

------

I really did have an actual post for today but with Marilyn's 22nd birthday starting up shortly -- first time going clubbing on a day other than Friday or Saturday -- I don't have the time tonight. Sorry. : )



HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARILYN!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Who Is The Odd Duck?

It may surprise some of you but this time last year I had no clue. I was suicidally depressed, in limbo at my parent's home, not eating at all, and it was a daily struggle to not go for the nearest knife and end it all. I honestly thought I was trash.

I think if I had known about blogging then, I'd have started up immediately. I was treated like a leper, as a failure, and other than Tinkerbell I had no one who really understood that I needed to just talk. I owe her my life.

Slowly I began to pull myself together. An improved Kendall, at least I think so. I'm only now starting to believe people when they say I am strong for not giving up. For not shutting Tinkerbell and later others out.

I have been through so much in my life. Rape, homelessness, depression, death, neglect and that's just what has directly affected me. Indirectly, if you name it, I've more than likely tried to help someone with it once in my life.

Now I am quickly approaching my 21st birthday. I have found love, a family. The people in my life, despite sharing no blood relation to me, give me faith in humanity every single day and I am blessed to know them.

I have learned to love myself.

I have learned to accept myself.

Now I need to work on forgiving myself. The hardest thing of all.

I am a junior at UNC-Chapel Hill. I am the boyfriend of a Duke nursing student. I am quickly stepping into the role of father to her 4 year-old. I am the teaching assistant to a truly amazing group of first graders. I am a Sunday school teacher who long ago hated God. I am a waiter whose coworkers have accepted me wholly. I am a friend whose friends are more family to him than anything.

These are my parts, but I am more than the sum of them.

I believe in second chances.

I believe that love can and does last.

I believe that there is no such thing as a "friend", there is only an acquaintance and then there is family for life.

I believe in taking life as it comes.

I believe that I was put on this Earth to help people.

I believe that your word is your bond and you should never break it.

I believe that as long as you have faith in something, that is all that matters.

I believe that children are something to be protected and nurtured but also that they are often capable of understanding more than we give them credit for.

I believe that to teach someone how to garden is to teach them how to care.

I believe that a great book is one you are sad to say goodbye to when it's finished.

I believe that the sound of a child laughing is one of the most beautiful sounds in the world.

I believe that great cooking moves from the heart to the hands.

I believe that love is love is love, whether it is heterosexual or homosexual.

I believe that teaching is going to be one of the most challenging experiences of my life, and one of the most rewarding.

I believe in smiling through the tears.

I believe that there is always hope for a better tomorrow, we just have to be willing to fight for it today.

I am the odd duck.

These are my fears, dreams, tears, laughs, failures, and triumphs as I go through life.

These are my confessions.

A Day To Just Be

Sometimes it is cathartic to spend time with your friends. So often I am too busy stressing to just chill. Too preoccupied with getting things done that I forget to relax.

Like a flashback to the summer; me, Eva, and Imogen spent a day just being our goofy selves. I had not realized just how much I missed this. School, and most specifically tests, did not exist today. Schedules were a thing of the past. Our only jobs were to have fun. There was no such thing as a budget.

This was just S, K, & C: The Comeback Tour.
  • Went out into the courtyard outside my apartment and attempted to tie dye some sheets. Ended up with more of the dye on ourselves than the sheet but it was still a blast.
  • Made a huge pile of leaves to jump in. Now sporting a lovely scrape on my back from jumping in with Eva in my arms.
  • Decided to take a trip to the pond and fed breadcrumbs to the ducks there. Had a butterfly land in my hand which was very cool.
  • Had someone coming from the game (drunk as all get out) ask if we were all dating each other and commenting that I was a lucky bastard. Proceed to spend the next five minutes screwing with the poor guy's head.
  • Watched Sweeney Todd and Juno. I was informed quite matter-of-factly by Imogen that I had a crush on Helena Bonham Carter, couldn't believably deny this charge. Loved the music so much that I had Limewire downloading the soundtracks to both during Juno.
  • Made a pizza entirely from scratch with whatever toppings we could think of. According to Eva, "it's like my stomach is having an orgasm."
  • Decided we hadn't had enough singing and went out to do some karaoke. Me and Eva got a standing ovation singing Aladdin's "A Whole New World" and Faith Hill & Tim McGraw's "It's Your Love". Deciding to do a silly song, we got Imogen on stage with us to sing Rocky Horror's "Time Warp." Great times.
  • Came back to my apartment around 1 in the morning, all showered and changed into sleeping clothes, and camped out in my living room. Decided to be complete nerds and tell ghost stories with requisite flashlight.
  • Woke up with Eva snuggled against my back and Imogen's foot almost in my eye.
  • Decided to hit up IHOP for breakfast. Mmm, french toast. Me and Imogen proved we really were 5 at heart and spent a good bit of time flicking bits of hashbrown at each other.
  • Imogen went home and me and Eva headed back to my apartment. Not sure who kissed who first but we end up having quite lovely slow sex. Afterward take a nap curled up together.
  • See her home, decide to crawl in bed and continue reading A Lion Among Men.
Sometimes it is wonderful to just spend a carefree day with the people you love. I didn't think about the tests or papers I have coming up. I didn't stress about my mom and dad's divorce. I wasn't worried about finding (and affording) an apartment or townhouse with Scarlett next year.

I was completely destressed, a feeling I had forgotten over the last month.

I was just Kendall.

And damn if that didn't feel fantastic.

When was the last time you took a day to just live?

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Mutación Memetic Parte Cuatro: ...And I'm It

So I've been tagged for a meme by the fabulously random Mich over at
Who Is Mich? whose blog you should totally check out.

Now let's see...

1. Were you named after anyone?
Both of my names came from my parents. My first name is the english version of my dad's whereas Kendall has a funny story behind it. My mom was still slightly loopy from the meds and she didn't know what she wanted my middle name to be. The nurse came in and called her "Kendall" by mistake (her name and mine are only 3 letters different) and she liked it.

Nineteen years later, I'm in the mall with a friend and we hear someone calling my name. We're looking around trying to figure out who it is when I hear "Mommy!" and a little blond girl comes running up to the woman calling my name. Cue mass amounts of ribbing.

2. Do you still have your tonsils?
Nope, had them removed when I was four or five. I don't remember if it hurt or not but I remember lots of ice cream.

3. Would you bungee jump?
I'm a wee bit of a thrill seeker so most definitely. It's where I would bungee from that's the question.

4. What is your favorite cereal?
To those who didn't read my Shit List, I'll reiterate. I absolutely loathe cereal and were I consigned to Hell one of my punishments would be having to eat it every morning. With milk. *shudder* I seriously can barely stand to see people eat it myself.

Sadly, this doesn't stop me from craving a dry bowl of cheerios every blue moon. A craving I do everything in my power to ignore.

5. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
For my tennis shoes, yes. My church boots and flip flops don't have laces.

6. What is your favorite ice cream?
Strawberry shortcake flavour from Ben & Jerry's

7. What is the first thing you notice about people?
Their sense of humour, eyes, and voice

8. What is your least favorite thing about yourself?
My at-times abysmal self-confidence. Distant second is my slight eating disorder (not sure if that is actually what is wrong with me or not.)

9. What was the last thing you ate?
A bagel before class on Friday

10. What are you listening to right now?
"For Good" from Wicked. Original Broadway Cast for the win.

11. Last movie you watched?
On my own, it was "The Green Mile". With someone else, it was "Forrest Gump" with Eva and Daybreak. Hmm, lot of Tom Hanks love this week.

12. What did you dream about last night?
It was a nightmare that I could not wake up from. Think Dawn of the Dead zombies (super strong and fast) with Hills Have Eyes tendencies and motivations (Papa Hades). Now put them in a crowded mall. Yeah, I was freaked.

13. What book are you reading?
I finished New Moon last night and next on my To Read list is A Lion Among Men, the third book in the Wicked series.

14. Summer or winter?
Summer...few clothes, barefoot, beautiful weather, water

Winter...birthday, Christmas, beautiful scenery, cold

Hmm, I can't decide.

15. Do you have any special talents?

Soy bilingüe. I can tie a cherry stem with my tongue. I can do and hold a hanstand, working on being able to hold it one-handed. I am a great cook. I could probably hold a conversation using nothing but movie quotes. I seem to be able to make even the most serious or depressed person smile and laugh.

Now I tag...

Katie @ I Know This Much Is True

Diane @ Diane's Addled Ramblings

Lady X (yes I gave you a nickname) @ I'll Just Keep On Ramblin'

Emily @ e-leet

Summer @ Blogfully Yours

Thursday, November 6, 2008

The Pursuit Of Happiness

“Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working.” - Anonymous

On Tuesday, November 4, 2008 at approximately 11:00 PM EST Barack Obama was declared President-Elect and many in the nation exploded into jubilation. After months of wondering if this country, only 40 years removed from the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King, would elect a biracial man as her president, it felt like we had come far. It seemed as if America was more united than she had been since that nation-changing Tuesday morning seven years ago.

I personally was on what could easily be referred to as an election high for almost the next 24 hours. Nothing could bring me down.

You'd think I'd have learned by now that fate is determined to prove I am her bitch. Yet my stubborn ass just keeps trying her. Obviously, I have a masochistic streak and enjoy learning my life lessons from the School of Hard Knocks.

Ask and ye shall receive.

I am speaking of course about California's Proposition 8. I had been on my way home from class when I get a call from Ruth telling me the results.

My heart dropped somewhere in the vicinity of my left shoe and a great deal of the optimism I had been feeling turned into inarticulate anger. I remember having to count backwards in Spanish just so I would not let loose a stream of profanity in public.

Hearing my own congregation speak on how we should support the passing of Prop 8 actually made me leave during Mass. I could not sit there and listen to Father Oaks, someone I have come to respect and trust, say that it was not an attack on the homosexual community but a defense of marriage. Nor could I hear the rationale that marriage was always intended to be one man and one woman.

Oh really? So I'm just imagining the stories of Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon? All of whom had multiple wives and yet are touted as men we should aspire to be similar to. I despise hypocrisy so please do not waste my time using it to strengthen your argument.

Furthermore, where exactly in the Bible does it condemn same-sex marriage? I've looked extensively and have yet to uncover a single verse that expressly condemns a loving, monogamous relationship between two people of the same gender. In fact, look up the story of the relationship between Daniel, David, and Ruth as an example.

As for Prop 8 not being an attack on the homosexual community, that is akin to claiming Jim Crow and the Apartheid were not attacks against those of colour but merely to protect the stability of the nation. Then some have the nerve to claim that gay couples are still afforded all kinds of rights. Even some moderates say that civil unions should be enough.

Does the phrase "separate yet equal" mean anything these days?

In four states, it is expressly prohibited for lesbians and gays to adopt children and even in the states where it is allowed, there is a myriad of rules and prohibitions that make this very difficult.

Imagine that your wife has just died. You are sick with grief and the worry that your adopted child will be taken away by the state. Then have that same child die in a car crash barely two weeks from her fifteenth birthday. Now nearly a near later, you are pregnant with twins and seriously considering marrying your girlfriend. And every day, you feel ill worrying what might happen to those children should something happen to you. This is Mami's life.

I was asked why I care so much about Prop 8 when I myself am straight. You want to get personal, fine, we'll go personal.

Growing up, I learned fairly early in my childhood that I could not depend on my parents. My mom had too much work to do and my dad...well, he couldn't really be bothered to care. As horrible as it sounds, I was fairly convinced that family was largely useless. I thought marriage was something only the older generation (like my great-grandparents) could make work.

You say you want to protect the children?

As far as I am concerned I was raised by Rose and Mami. They have always done whatever they could for me. They took an interest in my life and my happiness. I will never forget me calling them my family for the first time and the crying, smiling mass of limbs we were on their pool deck that night years ago. They were the only people under the age of 70 who wanted to protect me.

I was overcome with emotion when I saw that they had long thought to legally adopt me. Those papers were proof that someone somewhere wanted me as their child, something I had long doubted. I am proud to call them my moms and would have been prouder to still to have that recognized by the state.

Were it not for them, I would see marriage as a crock of shit. So how can it be that they and those like them are destroying the institution?

I don't understand.

It's a strange parallel when just shortly after my parents had their first birthdays, anti-miscegenation laws were rendered to be no longer in effect. These laws had been held to protect the sanctitiy of race. Now four decades later, we worry about the sanctitiy of marriage.

Daybreak, with all the innocence and clear-sight of a child, has said it best when she said, "no one can tell Auntie Imogen (who is her godmother) that she can't get married. She should have a happily ever after too!"

Sweetheart, truer words were never spoken.

So it is that I must temper my excitement in the wake of President-Elect Obama's win. We have come so very far in our short history.

This is true.

However, the passing of Proposition 8 also shows that we have so very far to go.

I will not give up hope though.

Los Gemelos Nuevos deserve to have their family acknowledged and supported.

Imogen and Ruth deserve to have the right to get married should they choose.

For that to happen, we must acknowledge and stand by the fact that marriage is a right, not a priveledge.

In 1967, then Chief Justice Earl Warren wrote in the decision of the Supreme Court Case Loving v. Virginia:

"The freedom to marry has long been recognized as one of the vital personal rights essential to the orderly pursuit of happiness by free men."

If not now, then when?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Wednesday Workshop: Shit List

So it's Wednesday again, which means Wednesday Writing Workshop.

4.) 10 of my absolute worst pet peeves...


In no particular order, things that disgust and/or piss me off....












...those who don't get how true this is.









Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Welcome President Barack Obama


Yeah this is pretty much the epitome of happiness. Congratulations President Obama! I toast you and the American people sir.

Tonight I am more proud of my country than I have ever been in my 20 years on this Earth. To all those in Grant Park tonight, enjoy yourselves and be sure to take lots of pictures. I need to live vicariously through you.

You are witnessing history in the making.

To those who did not vote for President Obama, I ask that you can put it aside and let us work together to be a better America for all her people. I ask that you allow him to earn your trust. This is our land, both democrat and republican. And we are stronger together than we are divided.

As for myself?

I go to bed with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.

Ah, why the Hell not.

Mutación Memetic Parte Tres: Blogschmear Mish Mash

This is from the hilarious ExMi.

1. Drop Dead Sugar Daddy

2. Your Beard Talks Smack

3. Attack of the Golden Ubermilf

4. Tales of Wit, Tits, and the Drunken Housewife

5. Mind Your Vagina Damnit

6. It's Like I'm Having A Gay Adventure Everyday


Sadly I'm not very creative today, I could only come up with six. Now I must be heading back to work for a few hours. Enjoy the rest of your day folks!

For those of you expecting an election day post, look below. : )

Monday, November 3, 2008

"Yes We Can."

Dear Senator Obama,

Before anything else, I offer my condolences to you and your family for the loss of your grandmother. From what I know she was proud of the man you became which is all we can really hope for.

On this the eve of election day, I can imagine you are being swamped by mail from everyone spanning adoring fans to vitriolic critics. I doubt you will even read this yourself but that will not stop my sending it. I want to get these words out there. I need to.

Tomorrow the majority of Americans will hit the polls and vote, deciding which candidate they believe will best lead this country in the next four years. Which is a wonderful thing. Every single citizen capable of voting should do so. Suffrage is not only a right; it is a responsibility. So no matter which candidate a person votes for, I am happy they are doing their duty. When I was 14, my Civics teacher said a sentence that has stayed with me to this day. "If you don't vote, don't complain."

I remember watching the Democratic Presidential Debates last July and thinking either Senator Clinton, Senator Edwards, or yourself would be the presidential nominee.

Sadly, I must recognize that this presidential election has brought out the worst in many of us on both sides. I may be voting for you but I do not see why that makes so many of your supporters defame and demonize Republican voters.

I can respect John McCain. I may disagree with him incredibly but I believe that he has what he sees as America's best interests at heart. I admire the fact that he and his wife took in a 3 month old girl from Bangladesh. Along with his service record and rather affable personality. I see no reason to hate Senator McCain and I do not really see that changing.

I have heard you called a racist, a socialist, a terrorist, even the Anti Christ. I've heard McCain voters referred to as racists, idiots, rednecks, and all manner of nastiness.

Sir, I believe with all my heart that you can truly take us into the new century. I want to see the wounds in our foreign standing healed. I want the title of American to be something to be proud of again. I want to be proud of my country and secure in the knowledge that the head of my government has my best interests in mind.

No matter what the outcome, I thank you. You have become the embodiment of change to a tired and angry people. So win or lose, I believe what you have done will resonate through the generations regardless.

There are so many issues that concern me, it is enough to make my pulse race and head feel light and full of cotton. I stress as I wonder if decades down the road, I will be able to have social security as a fallback. I look at nations like Great Britain and wonder why we cannot have nationalized health care as well. I feel the anger well up in my stomach when I look at my friends and know that should they want a family, it will be an uphill battle from the start because they are both women. I hear people look at peace in the Middle East as lost cause and know in my heart of hearts that it will take time and successful diplomacy. I despise the helplessness I feel when I watch the shame on the face of one of my students because her family can't afford new clothes. I look forward to the day when we are not reliant on gas and where alternative energy sources are considered more than just a pipe dream.

I look forward to a country where people of all ages, cultural, social, and economic backgrounds, religious beliefs, sexual orientations, educational backgrounds, and abilities are fully included and participating in society. A country where each and every one of its citizens is supported, accepted, and valued.

Tomorrow our world will change. Just what it will change into it has yet to be decided at the moment. Soon we will know who the next President of the United States will be. Many months of travel and sacrifice and tears and pain will tomorrow be vindicated.

In 2016, I want to be able to look back on 8 years of peace, equality, and prosperity. As someone who is increasingly thinking like a father, I want to be able to afford to both send my daughter to school and make sure she has health care. I want her to grow up to be very proud of her country and how it really is a land of hope for all people.

So on the eve of this historic election, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for standing up. Thank you for speaking out. Thank you for believing we deserve better and convincing us of the same. Thank you for sacrificing time with your family to campaign for what you believe in. Thank you for giving us hope. Thank you for giving me faith in politicians for the first time. Thank you for being who you are and having the willingness to share that with us all.

Respectfully,

Kendall A.

Memetic Mutation Parte Dos

I got tagged to do a photo meme by my friend J over at Little Miss Optimist

Because I'm a bit slow, she gave me the rules very simply. Open up the picture files on your computer, choose the 4th folder, and then the 4th picture. Because I'm not quite stupid enough to post a picture of me drinking a Heineken, I changed my rules. I went to my 5th folder and opened the 5th picture.


This is Eva (with all the bleach washed out) sleeping on my couch with her laptop halfway laying on top of her. I think I had just gotten Daybreak tucked into my bed when I go back into the living room and find this. My poor little nursing student was all tuckered out.

I tag Diane, Cayman's Girl, Dee, Tiff, Mindy, and anyone else who would like to do this.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

My Place of Zen? Just Point Me Towards The Kitchen

"Cooking is like love. It should be entered into without abandon or not at all." - Harriet van Horne, American newspaper columnist


Allow me to state for the record that I love to cook which is ironic seeing as how I don't eat nearly like I should. If you look on my 101 Things in 1,001 Days list you'll see that #22 is to eat at least two meals a day every day for a month. Folks, that hasn't happened since December 2006. And I wish I were making that up.

For as long as I can remember, I've had a not-so-secret dream to one day own my own restaurant.

Some of my fondest memories of my childhood are of learning how to cook. Me and Mil had little foot stools at our grandparent's house so that we could reach the counter tops to help her. Grandma C always told us that when you cook for someone you love, whether it is in the familial, platonic, or romantic, you add a bit of your soul to the food. Hence why a home cooked meal always taste better than one made by hired hands.

A bit of your soul. I didn't understand when she first said that when I was a preschooler. But having Daybreak sit in my lap as I show her how to make apple pie from scratch, I get it now.

I love seeing people enjoy a meal I'd prepared. For that bit of time that they spend eating and talking with one another, I can watch them forget about some of their troubles. Whether it is that test looming ever closer or vexing situations with work, during a good meal the world's stresses aren't so pressing. I enjoy taking care of people, this is just one of the ways I go about doing so. I have a slight 'Mother Hen' complex; I'm man enough to admit it.

Quite simply, cooking is cathartic for me.

So after a rather hellish visit to my parents, I came back to my home here and started making a good Sunday dinner for my friends here.

We laughed as I teased The Bait for his extraordinary ineptness in the kitchen. We laughed during the fencing match me and Eva had with the spoons and we all gave chase as Faith made off with one of them. In preparation of caroling, all ten of us (Faith got in on the act as well) sang "Joy To The World" and "Silent Night". Seated around me and The Bait's living room, I felt the emotional baggage of yesterday fall away.

There is no divorce looming here. There are no harsh silences or loud arguments. There are no alcohol-fueled tears.

This is my home.

These lunatics are my family.

By God, I love them.





Saturday, November 1, 2008

Who Needs A Golden Globe?

So I've received my second award from the wonderful Tiffany. Wow, I feel like such a star. Anywho, before I develop an ego let me move on to the rules of this little bit o' blogging love.

Da Rules are simple. Passthis on to five bloggers and tell them to open the nearest book to page 56. Write out the fifth sentence on that page, and also the next two to five sentences.

Not their favourite book.

Not the most intellectual.

The CLOSEST (as in you can smack your head on it without needing to move your tush) geographically.

The nearest book to me is from an old favourite of mine, C. S. Lewis's The Chronicles of Narnia.

"Thank you, thank you," said Uncle Andrew in a faint voice. "Thank you. Dear me, I'm terribly shaken. If someone could give me a small glass of brandy--"

"Now you attend to me, if you please," said the policeman, taking out a very large note-book and a very small pencil. "Are you in charge of that there young woman?"

I'll be thinking on who to pass the award along to and will edit this when I figure that out. Until then, I have a presentation to prepare for on Wednesday. Happy trails, folks!

Basking in the Afterglow

Well, that caps the end to another wonderful Halloween. I hope everyone enjoyed themselves with whatever (if any) plans they made. Before I get to the good parts of my own recap, I have a question. Why is it we no longer have flashlights while trick-or-treating? Seriously folks? Eva and Daybreak were both in white costumes and we still had a flashlight while I carried a glow stick around my neck. It would seem like common sense should dictate...

dark costume = the thought that I need something to show people I'm here.

I was carrying a sleeping Daybreak when we saw the blue lights of police sirens. As we got closer, we could see a man being given CPR on the curb while three feet ahead a truck had wrapped its front end around a stop sign. Safety first, folks.

Aside from hoping that man would be OK though, our night was fantastic. Although I did have a mild panic attack.

We were making one of our last house stops when we notice Daybreak is getting sleepy. Since my car was still a few blocks away, I just held her as we walked. One woman, in her late 20s at the oldest, sees me with a little girl in a ballerina costume with a woman dressed up as a witch with her arm around my waist and laying her head on my shoulder.

Woman: "Aww your daughter is so cute."

Me: (not thinking about what I'm saying) "Yes she is."

Eva: (trying not to laugh) "Thank you Ma'am, but now we need to get her home and to bed."

When she has Daybreak buckled in the booster seat, she finally looks at me and asks, "Your daughter?"

As she voices this question, I had my jester's hat off and was in the process of cleaning the makeup from my face. In a moment that was pure Kendall for the world, I stab the paper towel I was using right in my eye in surprise. I think quickly and when I realize what she is referring to, my eyes widen.

This is not the first time I claimed Daybreak as my daughter without thinking about it. Maybe my subconscious and my heart had claimed her long ago, they were just waiting for my head to catch up. Looking at her small form sleeping, I knew it didn't matter.

I looked Eva dead in the eye, and said. "Yes."

The smile that drew from her was quite simple one of the brightest I had ever seen.

After cleaning up from breakfast this morning, we did a count of how much a haul we scored last night. Eva gave up trying once she got to 200.

Daybreak: "Papa, you're our good luck charm every year now."

Me: "Stick with me Kiddo, and we'll score enough candy to last until the next year."

Daybreak: "Mmm me like. Mommy, can we have some now?"

Eva: "After lunch, yes."

Daybreak: "Awww, that's no fair."

Me: (whisper) "We'll sneak some later."

Eva: "I heard that!"

Ah good times, makes me look forward to next year. Now I need to wait out this sugar rush and then head to my hometown for the weekend. Take care everyone. Please try and avoid the diabeetus.