You're Not A Guy, You're A Kendall

I'm a wee bit old fashioned. I'll admit it.

I was raised by an 80 year-old Spanish woman and two lesbians, so I grew up...oddly. Of those three, only one is still alive but sadly moved back to Boston in January.

Because of them, I am a very polite individual by nature. Until the time I was 15, I would stand whenever a female left the table. I kid you not. I always say please and thank you and I use the words sir and ma'am a lot. If I am walking out a door and I even see someone who might use it as well, even if they're 20 seconds away, I will stop and hold it for them. I can't help it.

I did not know quite how to take it when The Ginger told me I was too nice when I held the door for someone.

This also applies to my relationships.

I couldn't do a one-night stand. I'm not even sure I could pull a "friends with benefits" type deal. I highly doubt it. Cheating is out of the question.

Maybe rape did have some positive effects. I don't see sex as just something to do nor do I try and sleep with everything in a skirt. Despite rumours to the contrary. I need to love someone to be intimate with them. I spent far too long thinking of myself as used goods to cheapen the act.

Is it really that strange for a 20 year-old guy NOT to sleep around?

Eva was amazed that it took me as long as I did to get to that point. I remember one particular fight over the summer where I tried to explain to her why I didn't have sex with her and how it was not because I did not find her attractive. I just...wasn't in love with her yet.

“Sex is more than an act of pleasure, it's the ability to be able to feel so close to a person, so connected, so comfortable that it's almost breathtaking to the point you feel you can’t take it. And at this moment you're a part of them."

Am I naive?

Maybe.

But I like being able to look in the mirror and not see "used goods" anymore.