Dramatis Personae

My cast of characters:

Me: Yours truly.

Eva: My fantabulous girlfriend who is infamous for making up new verbs, despises the Bush family even more than I do, has a very sexy accent when she speaks Italian, gives wonderful massages, and takes more pictures than anyone I've ever met. Has worked as an EMT. Has made it her goal to see me blush.

Daybreak: My girlfriend's near four year-old daughter who, according to her mom, is my shadow, likes to arrange the condiments at the table, and can usually be counted on to make me go "awww" in record timing.

The Bait: My roommate and as of this past Sunday is my sponsor for Confirmation, is often the butt of my jokes hence his nickname but he takes it in stride.

Pippi: The Bait's girlfriend. She is the one who taught me how to play guitar and crochet. She is a living karaoke machine. Has recently taken to spoiling my puppy rotten and calling my roommate The Bait in real life which makes me smile.

Mil: My actual little sister although we are as different as night and day. A shopping addict who is trying to become a broadcast journalist once she finishes college.

Faith: My newly acquired Chocolate Lab. Will often nip my fingers as a sign of affection or to let me know she wants something. Is a major prima donna and makes sure me and The Bait know who is really in charge. A frisbee fanatic and she often thinks she is a monkey.

Imogen: Ruth's girlfriend, Eva's best friend, and Daybreak's godmother. Very very much into the arts. Classically trained ballet dancer and now teaching classes in her town. She has been a close friend since high school whom I love dearly.

Ruth: Imogen's girlfriend and quickly became one of my best friends over the summer. She is my writing buddy who is currently trying to convince to pick up journalism again. Is quite possibly one of the most scarily intelligent people I know. Like Eva, she has done some modeling before.

Scarlett: One of my neighbours. Very dramatic and has a voice much more powerful than what you'd expect from someone her size. Has a female hard-on for Edward Cullen. Will more than likely be my roommate next year since The Bait is going to graduate school in Boston and Marilyn is heading to New York.

Marilyn: Scarlett's roommate. As Eva said, "she makes everything seem sexy." Will often ask me to go clubbing with her and Scarlett. Makes the best margaritas. Ever.

Tinkerbell: Ex-girlfriend who is now a very dear friend. Has the same sense of humour I do, will tell you when she thinks you have your head up your ass, and one of the most caring people I know. She was also the one to introduce me to country music.

Miss Frizzle: My personal hero and the teacher I work under for my education class. Like her nickname suggests, she does channel the spirit of the wacky teacher. Is engaged to Fabio.

Mami: Not my biological mother. One of the women who raised me and expecting twins of her own for me to spoil. Now lives in Boston with her girlfriend who is one of the sweetest women ever.

The Pop Queen: A relatively new friend who I know through theater appreciation and the drama club here. Absolutely hilarious and we are now convinced we are twins who were separated at birth.

The Ginger: My lab partner in Bio. Calls me "Mother" as I am always on her to quit smoking the sticks of cancer. Acts bossy in front of others but is really a sweet person. She dyed her hair brown to void my nickname for her, an accusation she futilely denies.

Diva: My boss. Got married over the summer and invited me which was cool. Takes no shit from anyone and is a trained chef. The things this woman can do with a knife...

The Spawn: Childhood best friend who I am still really close to, one of my two closest guy friends. Is a very avid gamer and the one who first got me to play D & D and Halo. Has the greatest dad ever.

Dolly: A very conservative coworker of mine. Is both intelligent and a sweetheart so I don't hold her views against her. Much. We often talk about politics which is always amusing to the people around us in the restaurant.

Skittles: Adorable but absent minded girl in the class I teach. Has now come up with ways to house train me as her pet.

Clark Kent: Boy in my class, sweet and always hilarious. Also one of the most polite six year-olds ever. Despite the fact that he has Type 1 Diabetes, he always has a smile for you.

Wonder Girl (WG) Another child in my class who is always the first to volunteer to help out. A bit on the bossy side but her heart's in the right place.