Wednesday Workshop: Pushing My Mom's Buttons...Well? Like So.

It's that time again folks! My assignment from Mama Kat this week goes as follows:

- What do you do that drives your mother crazy?

Oh, let me count the ways.

Word of warning: I do use the n-word in this post just to give you a heads-up.

5...4...3...2...1...

My mom can't stand sarcasm. The fact that I almost perpetually ooze it does not sit well with her. Along with my habit of finishing her sentences when it's something obvious.

"Kendall, can you..."

"Take the trash out for you? Sure."

"I told you not to do that."

I think this may be way I enjoy annoying people so much, I've had years of practice with it.

Whenever I go home to visit, I will do chores. Mainly cooking and cleaning the kitchen. While I do so I will have my iPod playing with my headphones in. For some reason, this drives my mom nuts. Why is something I have not figured out yet.

Me making cracks about her inability to manage time. For years, me and my sister have told her that the reason we are OCD about being on time is because she never was. She can't stand that. The fact that you can probably hear the smirks in our voices doesn't help much.

We don't care.

While my mom likes Eva and adores Daybreak, she doesn't like me dating her as I shouldn't be chained down, especially to someone who has a child. This is the same woman who told me I was too uptight and should get laid when I was about 14. I wish I were joking.

The fact that I was not sure I would vote for Obama pissed her off. Me explaining that, at the time, I had only seen the man speak once at the Democratic Presidential Debates last July so I wasn't sold yet.

That I am so very pro-gay marriage. Note, I said gay marriage and not civil union. She can't stand the fact that I am closer to two lesbians (Rosie and Mami), much less that I consider them my mothers. She has called me ungrateful for this on several ocassions.

She hates the fact that I do not talk to her about my life. That I refuse to trust her. You all, whom I have known 3 months tops, know more about my life than she does.

That I want so badly to be a teacher. My mom is one of the people who subscribe to the saying, "those who can do, those who can't teach." I think she has finally given up trying to convince me to go into another field but has made it clear that her silence is under duress.

That I want nothing to do with my father. She has told me repeatedly that I need some kind of male influence in my life. My reply is always that I have gone 21 years without a dad who gave a damn, I see no reason to change that now.

And on that subject, she also says I am ungrateful as my father stayed with her which was incredibly rare where he came from. I tell her I am grateful. Grateful that he showed me exactly what kind of dad I didn't want to be.

My view on racism. I've met people of every race that I dislike, I see no reason to distrust someone solely on colour. My mom often told me that even though I can be friends with white people I shouldn't trust them. Because at the end of the day, I'm just a nigger. That always ALWAYS bothered me so I rejected that view.

Despite my many issues with her, I still love her.