The Difference Between Need and Want

So today was a day that I had been looking forward to since I first started on my job back in June. My first day of training as a cook. I had been busing tables long enough that I all ready knew where everything was in the back, it was mainly learning how to prepare each dish. Then at the end of my workday, I got to prepare an order myself. Steak, medium well and a baked potato.

Watching me, The Diva commented that it was like seeing a duck in water for the first time.

I felt a sense of...I suppose accomplishment would be the right word. I like the other cooks. They may be insanely meticulous at times, kind of have to be for what they do, but they're good men and women. And funny as hell. I thought that perhaps I had found my niche.

Then as I was walking towards the bathroom, I saw Dolly and B serving tables and talking with the customers. Smiling at people as they passed by. In that one moment, I felt that I had lost something precious.

I had not talked to customers all day and even though we have the occasional asshat come through, the good ones who smile and chat are what make my day worth it. Losing that interaction hurt. I loved seeing the looks as they would pass on praise for good service to other servers or to the cooks. I loved the banter me and Dolly could go through as we worked our sections. I love the lulls we have in customers where we can actually speak with the people we serve.

I don't want to give that up.

So despite the fact that my wage would have increased about 3 dollars per hour, I am pretty sure I am not meant to be in the back preparing food. I know I am a good cook, and with enough experience perhaps a great one but for now, that is not where I am supposed to be.

I thought I would be making the right choice. I thought I would find myself thinking how glad I was that my time as a server was over. I thought I would be happy.

I'm not.

Sometimes we do get what we want, only to find out we all ready had what we need.