It's that time again folks! My assignment from Mama Kat this week goes as follows:
- What do you do that drives your mother crazy?
Oh, let me count the ways.
Word of warning: I do use the n-word in this post just to give you a heads-up.
5...4...3...2...1...
My mom can't stand sarcasm. The fact that I almost perpetually ooze it does not sit well with her. Along with my habit of finishing her sentences when it's something obvious.
"Kendall, can you..."
"Take the trash out for you? Sure."
"I told you not to do that."
I think this may be way I enjoy annoying people so much, I've had years of practice with it.
Whenever I go home to visit, I will do chores. Mainly cooking and cleaning the kitchen. While I do so I will have my iPod playing with my headphones in. For some reason, this drives my mom nuts. Why is something I have not figured out yet.
Me making cracks about her inability to manage time. For years, me and my sister have told her that the reason we are OCD about being on time is because she never was. She can't stand that. The fact that you can probably hear the smirks in our voices doesn't help much.
We don't care.
While my mom likes Eva and adores Daybreak, she doesn't like me dating her as I shouldn't be chained down, especially to someone who has a child. This is the same woman who told me I was too uptight and should get laid when I was about 14. I wish I were joking.
The fact that I was not sure I would vote for Obama pissed her off. Me explaining that, at the time, I had only seen the man speak once at the Democratic Presidential Debates last July so I wasn't sold yet.
That I am so very pro-gay marriage. Note, I said gay marriage and not civil union. She can't stand the fact that I am closer to two lesbians (Rosie and Mami), much less that I consider them my mothers. She has called me ungrateful for this on several ocassions.
She hates the fact that I do not talk to her about my life. That I refuse to trust her. You all, whom I have known 3 months tops, know more about my life than she does.
That I want so badly to be a teacher. My mom is one of the people who subscribe to the saying, "those who can do, those who can't teach." I think she has finally given up trying to convince me to go into another field but has made it clear that her silence is under duress.
That I want nothing to do with my father. She has told me repeatedly that I need some kind of male influence in my life. My reply is always that I have gone 21 years without a dad who gave a damn, I see no reason to change that now.
And on that subject, she also says I am ungrateful as my father stayed with her which was incredibly rare where he came from. I tell her I am grateful. Grateful that he showed me exactly what kind of dad I didn't want to be.
My view on racism. I've met people of every race that I dislike, I see no reason to distrust someone solely on colour. My mom often told me that even though I can be friends with white people I shouldn't trust them. Because at the end of the day, I'm just a nigger. That always ALWAYS bothered me so I rejected that view.
Despite my many issues with her, I still love her.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
What I Know Now: A Letter to Myself (circa 12, 30, 2007)
Dear Kendall,
Hi Kendall, it's me Kendall. Sorry for the weirdness (although you really should be used to it at this point) but I've always wanted to use that line. Figure now would be my best chance.
Right now you are just beginning the road to recovery. You are just starting to deal with Rosie's death and are nowhere close to dealing with Gabi's. You still have nightmares of what you have gone through. You still think of yourself as trash.
But despite all that, you have not broken. You bent but it's like Tinkerbell told us. We're too stubborn to ever let anything break us. You want to be redeemed. You were all ready forgiven, now we just need to forgive ourselves for the wrong we've done.
You have quite the year ahead of you and you are about to meet some of the most wonderful people with some interesting times ahead.
You're going to be a teacher to a group of funny, sweet, mildly exasperating 6 year-olds among whom are a girl who will try and figure out how to make you a pet. A boy who is the first grade's answer to a ladies' man. And a girl who when she grows up, could easily become one of the most influential women in the world.
You're going to learn how to play guitar and in June will play with Pippi in front of a crowd of about 150. No, I'm not shitting you. And you are even going to sing. I'll wait for you to come back to consciousness before continuing.
Awake yet?
Good.
You know those blog things you've heard about? Well after a suggestion from Tink to write down your life story, you start one. Who would want to read it you ask? Quite a few, actually. Not sure how many actually read this. You even read other peoples' and have become friends with some.
You're even going to fall in love with someone again. You all ready know her but you two are about to become close. Her daughter will even begin to see you as her papa and as much as you fight it you'll see her as your own in return. It will start with you two studying for your upcoming psychology class together and then you'll start hanging out. Then in the summer, [Imogen] will duck out of a clubbing adventure as she has grown tired of you dancing around each other.
At this point, you're wondering what happens with Tinkerbell. In fact, I'm willing to put money down on the fact that you are now convinced that you did something to fuck up again. You did not, I promise. You two will go through a dark period over the summer but eventually things will work themselves out. A word of warning now though, do not EVER apologize for her loving you. The results won't be pretty.
We have come a long way, my friend and we still have so very far left to go.
Just remember this: "Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things."
So in closing, chin up. Remember to eat every day, it's hard I know but we are losing weight a bit too quickly. Try not to take the world's problems onto your shoulder, I know you still will as it is ingrained into who we are but I have to try. Accept the happiness in your life, we do deserve it if we merely let ourselves feel. And I will see you in the mirror soon.
The future is looking bright, my friend.
Sincerely,
Kendall, age 20.92
Hi Kendall, it's me Kendall. Sorry for the weirdness (although you really should be used to it at this point) but I've always wanted to use that line. Figure now would be my best chance.
Right now you are just beginning the road to recovery. You are just starting to deal with Rosie's death and are nowhere close to dealing with Gabi's. You still have nightmares of what you have gone through. You still think of yourself as trash.
But despite all that, you have not broken. You bent but it's like Tinkerbell told us. We're too stubborn to ever let anything break us. You want to be redeemed. You were all ready forgiven, now we just need to forgive ourselves for the wrong we've done.
You have quite the year ahead of you and you are about to meet some of the most wonderful people with some interesting times ahead.
You're going to be a teacher to a group of funny, sweet, mildly exasperating 6 year-olds among whom are a girl who will try and figure out how to make you a pet. A boy who is the first grade's answer to a ladies' man. And a girl who when she grows up, could easily become one of the most influential women in the world.
You're going to learn how to play guitar and in June will play with Pippi in front of a crowd of about 150. No, I'm not shitting you. And you are even going to sing. I'll wait for you to come back to consciousness before continuing.
Awake yet?
Good.
You know those blog things you've heard about? Well after a suggestion from Tink to write down your life story, you start one. Who would want to read it you ask? Quite a few, actually. Not sure how many actually read this. You even read other peoples' and have become friends with some.
You're even going to fall in love with someone again. You all ready know her but you two are about to become close. Her daughter will even begin to see you as her papa and as much as you fight it you'll see her as your own in return. It will start with you two studying for your upcoming psychology class together and then you'll start hanging out. Then in the summer, [Imogen] will duck out of a clubbing adventure as she has grown tired of you dancing around each other.
At this point, you're wondering what happens with Tinkerbell. In fact, I'm willing to put money down on the fact that you are now convinced that you did something to fuck up again. You did not, I promise. You two will go through a dark period over the summer but eventually things will work themselves out. A word of warning now though, do not EVER apologize for her loving you. The results won't be pretty.
We have come a long way, my friend and we still have so very far left to go.
Just remember this: "Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things."
So in closing, chin up. Remember to eat every day, it's hard I know but we are losing weight a bit too quickly. Try not to take the world's problems onto your shoulder, I know you still will as it is ingrained into who we are but I have to try. Accept the happiness in your life, we do deserve it if we merely let ourselves feel. And I will see you in the mirror soon.
The future is looking bright, my friend.
Sincerely,
Kendall, age 20.92
Monday, December 29, 2008
The Difference Between Need and Want
So today was a day that I had been looking forward to since I first started on my job back in June. My first day of training as a cook. I had been busing tables long enough that I all ready knew where everything was in the back, it was mainly learning how to prepare each dish. Then at the end of my workday, I got to prepare an order myself. Steak, medium well and a baked potato.
Watching me, The Diva commented that it was like seeing a duck in water for the first time.
I felt a sense of...I suppose accomplishment would be the right word. I like the other cooks. They may be insanely meticulous at times, kind of have to be for what they do, but they're good men and women. And funny as hell. I thought that perhaps I had found my niche.
Then as I was walking towards the bathroom, I saw Dolly and B serving tables and talking with the customers. Smiling at people as they passed by. In that one moment, I felt that I had lost something precious.
I had not talked to customers all day and even though we have the occasional asshat come through, the good ones who smile and chat are what make my day worth it. Losing that interaction hurt. I loved seeing the looks as they would pass on praise for good service to other servers or to the cooks. I loved the banter me and Dolly could go through as we worked our sections. I love the lulls we have in customers where we can actually speak with the people we serve.
I don't want to give that up.
So despite the fact that my wage would have increased about 3 dollars per hour, I am pretty sure I am not meant to be in the back preparing food. I know I am a good cook, and with enough experience perhaps a great one but for now, that is not where I am supposed to be.
I thought I would be making the right choice. I thought I would find myself thinking how glad I was that my time as a server was over. I thought I would be happy.
I'm not.
Sometimes we do get what we want, only to find out we all ready had what we need.
Watching me, The Diva commented that it was like seeing a duck in water for the first time.
I felt a sense of...I suppose accomplishment would be the right word. I like the other cooks. They may be insanely meticulous at times, kind of have to be for what they do, but they're good men and women. And funny as hell. I thought that perhaps I had found my niche.
Then as I was walking towards the bathroom, I saw Dolly and B serving tables and talking with the customers. Smiling at people as they passed by. In that one moment, I felt that I had lost something precious.
I had not talked to customers all day and even though we have the occasional asshat come through, the good ones who smile and chat are what make my day worth it. Losing that interaction hurt. I loved seeing the looks as they would pass on praise for good service to other servers or to the cooks. I loved the banter me and Dolly could go through as we worked our sections. I love the lulls we have in customers where we can actually speak with the people we serve.
I don't want to give that up.
So despite the fact that my wage would have increased about 3 dollars per hour, I am pretty sure I am not meant to be in the back preparing food. I know I am a good cook, and with enough experience perhaps a great one but for now, that is not where I am supposed to be.
I thought I would be making the right choice. I thought I would find myself thinking how glad I was that my time as a server was over. I thought I would be happy.
I'm not.
Sometimes we do get what we want, only to find out we all ready had what we need.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Bienvenido a Los Gemelos Nuevos
You two have no idea how much excitement has surrounded your arrival. It seems like it's been a lot longer than seven months since I found out about you. Now I get to meet you in person instead of talking to your mom's tummy like I did back in May.
As soon as I heard about you two showing up, early I might add, I cleared my schedule for this weekend and fully intend to wake up Friday before dawn and make the 12-plus hour drive to meet you in person. Speaking of being early, are we sure you're Mami's kids? This is the woman who once told me, "I'm never late. I arrive exactly when I mean to."
But I digress.
I can't wait until you two are older and we can really hang out. This is part of why I hate that Mami lives so far away now. I can't see you all as often as I would like but you had best believe that whenever I have the chance, you'll see that green Nissan pull up outside your window. When you're teenagers, maybe you'll just fly down on your own to stay with me while I (try as I may to deny it to your mom) will probably spoil you rotten.
I think I'm entitled.
Oh and I feel sorry for you Little Miss I, because you get me as a big brother figure, and when I want to, I can intimidate people. A skill I intend to use should any boy you deign to date not measure up. But don't worry, I'm pretty sure that will be unnecessary. But before you get excited and assume you're off the hook, I have to burst your bubble. Any boy you date has to deal with Mami first and any one who can pass her scrutiny will pass my muster. Little Mister G, same goes with you and girls. Just pray your mom is NOT the one who gives you the talk.
Next Christmas you two will be close to one year old and I have all ready seen some little Santa hats that would be adorable on you. Your mom and R will have you dressed up as elves, it's amazing how funny that is now that someone else is going to be subjected to that instead of myself. We'll sing songs while you two babble some of the words and generally make everyone's hearts melt around you.
When you two graduate from high school and later college, I will be there. Tissues in one hand and camera in the other. I'll be fit to burst with pride, love, happiness, and just a little bit of sadness. It was bad enough watching Mil graduate from high school, seeing you two walk across that stage will mean you are getting older. That so very much time has passed since the time I saw you as little more than a bump under Mami's shirt.
Your mom, along with her wife, took in a quasi-neglected 8 year-old boy and now a bit over 12 years later has asked that same boy to take on the role of godfather to you two. It meant more than I know how to vocalize just how much that meant to me. Me and Mami have been through a lot, the past year has been full of tears and no small amount of anger but we're passed it now. Here's my first lesson to you, you and your family will fight. It's inevitable. However, don't ever doubt they love you. Any of us would give our right arm for you. And each other for that matter.
One day you'll be grow up, go to school, get jobs, maybe get married, maybe have children of your own. I can only hope that throughout all that you stay true to yourselves, be happy, never become so busy you fail to consider the hearts of others, and most importantly, remember that I love you.
I promise here and now that I will do everything in my power to do right by you both. It seems fitting that your mom taught me to have faith in family and now I get to return the favour to you two. Full circle and all that.
Welcome to the world little ones, it's a brighter place with you in it.
Lovingly yours,
Kendall
P. S. I make no promises about not embarrassing you too much. I will take exorbitant amounts of pictures whenever I see you, I expect a dance with Little Miss I should she ever get married, and childhood stories will be told to any significant other. Sorry kids, it's all part of my job description.
As soon as I heard about you two showing up, early I might add, I cleared my schedule for this weekend and fully intend to wake up Friday before dawn and make the 12-plus hour drive to meet you in person. Speaking of being early, are we sure you're Mami's kids? This is the woman who once told me, "I'm never late. I arrive exactly when I mean to."
But I digress.
I can't wait until you two are older and we can really hang out. This is part of why I hate that Mami lives so far away now. I can't see you all as often as I would like but you had best believe that whenever I have the chance, you'll see that green Nissan pull up outside your window. When you're teenagers, maybe you'll just fly down on your own to stay with me while I (try as I may to deny it to your mom) will probably spoil you rotten.
I think I'm entitled.
Oh and I feel sorry for you Little Miss I, because you get me as a big brother figure, and when I want to, I can intimidate people. A skill I intend to use should any boy you deign to date not measure up. But don't worry, I'm pretty sure that will be unnecessary. But before you get excited and assume you're off the hook, I have to burst your bubble. Any boy you date has to deal with Mami first and any one who can pass her scrutiny will pass my muster. Little Mister G, same goes with you and girls. Just pray your mom is NOT the one who gives you the talk.
Next Christmas you two will be close to one year old and I have all ready seen some little Santa hats that would be adorable on you. Your mom and R will have you dressed up as elves, it's amazing how funny that is now that someone else is going to be subjected to that instead of myself. We'll sing songs while you two babble some of the words and generally make everyone's hearts melt around you.
When you two graduate from high school and later college, I will be there. Tissues in one hand and camera in the other. I'll be fit to burst with pride, love, happiness, and just a little bit of sadness. It was bad enough watching Mil graduate from high school, seeing you two walk across that stage will mean you are getting older. That so very much time has passed since the time I saw you as little more than a bump under Mami's shirt.
Your mom, along with her wife, took in a quasi-neglected 8 year-old boy and now a bit over 12 years later has asked that same boy to take on the role of godfather to you two. It meant more than I know how to vocalize just how much that meant to me. Me and Mami have been through a lot, the past year has been full of tears and no small amount of anger but we're passed it now. Here's my first lesson to you, you and your family will fight. It's inevitable. However, don't ever doubt they love you. Any of us would give our right arm for you. And each other for that matter.
One day you'll be grow up, go to school, get jobs, maybe get married, maybe have children of your own. I can only hope that throughout all that you stay true to yourselves, be happy, never become so busy you fail to consider the hearts of others, and most importantly, remember that I love you.
I promise here and now that I will do everything in my power to do right by you both. It seems fitting that your mom taught me to have faith in family and now I get to return the favour to you two. Full circle and all that.
Welcome to the world little ones, it's a brighter place with you in it.
Lovingly yours,
Kendall
P. S. I make no promises about not embarrassing you too much. I will take exorbitant amounts of pictures whenever I see you, I expect a dance with Little Miss I should she ever get married, and childhood stories will be told to any significant other. Sorry kids, it's all part of my job description.
Soundtrack to Life
It's been a while since I had done a meme. It's open so anyone who wants to do it can. Just comment with a link to your post when you're done.
Here's how it works...Put your iPod or whatever music player you have on shuffle. The first song that you hear will be the song for your Opening Scene. Skip to the next song, this is your next category. Keep doing this until the end.
Opening Scene: Savin' Me - Nickelback
Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be.
Wake Up Scene: This Is How We Do It - Montell Jordan
This is how we do it, all the hands are in the air
And wave them from here to there
If you're an O. G. mack or a wanna-be playa
Average Day: What Do Ya Think About That? - Montgomery Gentry
Some people care about what other people think
Worry about what they say
Let a little gossip coming from a loose lip
Ruin a perfect day
1st Date: For Good - Wicked (Original Broadway Cast)
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you
Falling In Love: If You're Reading This - Tim McGraw
If you're reading this there's gonna come a day
When you move on and find someone else but that's okay
Just remember this I'm in a better place
Where soldiers live in peace and angels sing "Amazing Grace"
Fight Scene: 10,000 Fists - Disturbed
People can no longer cover their eyes
If this disturbs you then walk away
You will remember the night you were struck by the sight of
Ten thousand fists in the air!
Break Up Scene: Wasted - Carrie Underwood
I don't wanna spend my life jaded
Waitin' to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Back Together: I Believe I Can Fly - R. Kelly
I used to think that I could not go on
And life was nothing but an awful song
But now I know the meaning of true love
I'm leaning on the everlasting arms
Secret Love: Through Heaven's Eyes - Disney's The Prince of Egypt
If a man lose ev'ry thing he owns
Has he truly lost his worth?
Or is it the beginning
Of a new and brighter birth?
Life's OK: Ready, Set, Don't Go - Billy Ray Cyrus
This is where I don't say
What I want so bad to say
This is where I want to
But I won't get in the way
Of her and her dreams
And spreadin' her wings
Mental Breakdown: Our Town - James Taylor
Main street isn't main street anymore
Lights don't shine as brightly as they shown before
Tell the truth, lights don't shine at all
In our town
Driving: Everyday (Family Reunion) - Chaka Ghan & Gerald Levert
We should speak
From the heart
And let love be the solution
Let us forgive
And put the past away
No time to wait
The time has come to give love everyday
Learning A Lesson: I Can Go The Distance - Disney's Hercules
But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
Because a hero's strength is measured by his heart
Deep Thought: Fly Me to The Moon - Frank Sinatra
Fill my heart with love
Let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you
Flashback: Find Yourself - Brad Paisley
Well you go through life, so sure of where you're heading
And you wind up lost and it's the best thing that could have happened
'Cause sometimes when you lose your way it's really just as well
Partying: ABC - Jackson 5
Reading and writing arithmetic
Are the branches of the learning tree
But listen without the root of love, girl
Your education ain't complete
Happy Dance: My Girl - The Temptations
I've got so much honey
The bees envy me
I've got a sweeter song
Than the birds in the trees
Regretting: Black Horse & The Cherry Tree - KT Tunstall
Well my heart knows me better than myself
So I'm gonna let it do all the talking
I come across a place in the middle of nowhere
With a black horse and a cherry tree
Long Night Alone: Behind Those Eyes - Three Doors Down
There's something I can't see
There's something different in the way you smile
Behind those eyes you lie
And there's nothing I can say
'Cause I'm never gonna change your mind
Behind those eyes you hide
Death Scene: Waitin' On A Woman - Brad Paisley
I've read somewhere statistics show
The man's always the first to go
And that makes sense 'cause I know she won't be ready
So when it finally comes my time
And I get to the other side
I'll find myself a bench, if they've got any
I hope she takes her time, 'cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman.
Closing Credits: This Is Halloween - Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas
This is Halloween, everybody make a scene
Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright
It's our town, everybody scream
In this town of Halloween
Here's how it works...Put your iPod or whatever music player you have on shuffle. The first song that you hear will be the song for your Opening Scene. Skip to the next song, this is your next category. Keep doing this until the end.
Opening Scene: Savin' Me - Nickelback
Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be.
Wake Up Scene: This Is How We Do It - Montell Jordan
This is how we do it, all the hands are in the air
And wave them from here to there
If you're an O. G. mack or a wanna-be playa
Average Day: What Do Ya Think About That? - Montgomery Gentry
Some people care about what other people think
Worry about what they say
Let a little gossip coming from a loose lip
Ruin a perfect day
1st Date: For Good - Wicked (Original Broadway Cast)
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you
Falling In Love: If You're Reading This - Tim McGraw
If you're reading this there's gonna come a day
When you move on and find someone else but that's okay
Just remember this I'm in a better place
Where soldiers live in peace and angels sing "Amazing Grace"
Fight Scene: 10,000 Fists - Disturbed
People can no longer cover their eyes
If this disturbs you then walk away
You will remember the night you were struck by the sight of
Ten thousand fists in the air!
Break Up Scene: Wasted - Carrie Underwood
I don't wanna spend my life jaded
Waitin' to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Back Together: I Believe I Can Fly - R. Kelly
I used to think that I could not go on
And life was nothing but an awful song
But now I know the meaning of true love
I'm leaning on the everlasting arms
Secret Love: Through Heaven's Eyes - Disney's The Prince of Egypt
If a man lose ev'ry thing he owns
Has he truly lost his worth?
Or is it the beginning
Of a new and brighter birth?
Life's OK: Ready, Set, Don't Go - Billy Ray Cyrus
This is where I don't say
What I want so bad to say
This is where I want to
But I won't get in the way
Of her and her dreams
And spreadin' her wings
Mental Breakdown: Our Town - James Taylor
Main street isn't main street anymore
Lights don't shine as brightly as they shown before
Tell the truth, lights don't shine at all
In our town
Driving: Everyday (Family Reunion) - Chaka Ghan & Gerald Levert
We should speak
From the heart
And let love be the solution
Let us forgive
And put the past away
No time to wait
The time has come to give love everyday
Learning A Lesson: I Can Go The Distance - Disney's Hercules
But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
Because a hero's strength is measured by his heart
Deep Thought: Fly Me to The Moon - Frank Sinatra
Fill my heart with love
Let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you
Flashback: Find Yourself - Brad Paisley
Well you go through life, so sure of where you're heading
And you wind up lost and it's the best thing that could have happened
'Cause sometimes when you lose your way it's really just as well
Partying: ABC - Jackson 5
Reading and writing arithmetic
Are the branches of the learning tree
But listen without the root of love, girl
Your education ain't complete
Happy Dance: My Girl - The Temptations
I've got so much honey
The bees envy me
I've got a sweeter song
Than the birds in the trees
Regretting: Black Horse & The Cherry Tree - KT Tunstall
Well my heart knows me better than myself
So I'm gonna let it do all the talking
I come across a place in the middle of nowhere
With a black horse and a cherry tree
Long Night Alone: Behind Those Eyes - Three Doors Down
There's something I can't see
There's something different in the way you smile
Behind those eyes you lie
And there's nothing I can say
'Cause I'm never gonna change your mind
Behind those eyes you hide
Death Scene: Waitin' On A Woman - Brad Paisley
I've read somewhere statistics show
The man's always the first to go
And that makes sense 'cause I know she won't be ready
So when it finally comes my time
And I get to the other side
I'll find myself a bench, if they've got any
I hope she takes her time, 'cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman.
Closing Credits: This Is Halloween - Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas
This is Halloween, everybody make a scene
Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright
It's our town, everybody scream
In this town of Halloween
Saturday, December 27, 2008
To Mr. Kris Kringle, A Thank You
Dear Santa,
I know, I know. You must be wondering why I'm writing again when I just wrote that letter earlier in the week. Well since I just posted about appreciated things while you still have them I would feel remiss if I did not thank you.
Me and Eva have had several long talk and as of approx. 6 PM today, we are back together. I spent part of Christmas morning with her and Daybreak before heading to The Godmother's and later on in the day at her mom's who then insisted I stay for a while.
I found myself started to question if I was right during the summer. If needing people was only inviting trouble. But I would like to think I have felt all I have just to prove that my younger self was wrong. That I cannot make it through life without others. I would be lying through my teeth if I said I wasn't miserable.
Now seeing as how Mami will be giving birth soon, I can only pray that you make it two for two.
Humbly yours,
Kendall
I know, I know. You must be wondering why I'm writing again when I just wrote that letter earlier in the week. Well since I just posted about appreciated things while you still have them I would feel remiss if I did not thank you.
Me and Eva have had several long talk and as of approx. 6 PM today, we are back together. I spent part of Christmas morning with her and Daybreak before heading to The Godmother's and later on in the day at her mom's who then insisted I stay for a while.
I found myself started to question if I was right during the summer. If needing people was only inviting trouble. But I would like to think I have felt all I have just to prove that my younger self was wrong. That I cannot make it through life without others. I would be lying through my teeth if I said I wasn't miserable.
Now seeing as how Mami will be giving birth soon, I can only pray that you make it two for two.
Humbly yours,
Kendall
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Small Points of Light
Thanks for the comments, Fbook messages, and emails in response to my last post folks, you have no idea how much I appreciated them.
I spent the weekend and Monday in Delaware with my family for my grandmére's
surprise birthday party. I saw my cousins and aunts who I normally see only once a year, I came down with a slight cold, I watched the Ravens whoop on the Cowboys, and I have a scar on my fingers from playing so much pool. All in all, it was a blast.
Yesterday was filled with doing my last round of Christmas shopping, playing with my puppy, and then meeting The Spawn at a bar in Raleigh where we spent the night hanging out with his friends, trying to get one of his friends a date, laughing at our incredibly intoxicated friend, and in general just goofing off. I had never been to this bar or any other, I've been to plenty of clubs sure but never to a bar. Must say that I enjoyed that experience.
I am supposed to be meeting Eva today as she asked me to come by sometime this evening. For what purpose exactly, I don't know yet but I am trying not to have a panic attack thinking about the possible outcome. Fingers crossed, kids.
But now I need to head to the grocery store since I am cooking my friends breakfast this morning. Rachel Ray and Paula Dean really are my therapists. Hmm, wonder what they charge by the hour?
Last but not least, if you are in the Raleigh area tonight around 7 or 8 and you see a group of people wearing Santa hats then look sharp, because one of them is most likely myself.
A Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Good Night!
I spent the weekend and Monday in Delaware with my family for my grandmére's
surprise birthday party. I saw my cousins and aunts who I normally see only once a year, I came down with a slight cold, I watched the Ravens whoop on the Cowboys, and I have a scar on my fingers from playing so much pool. All in all, it was a blast.
Yesterday was filled with doing my last round of Christmas shopping, playing with my puppy, and then meeting The Spawn at a bar in Raleigh where we spent the night hanging out with his friends, trying to get one of his friends a date, laughing at our incredibly intoxicated friend, and in general just goofing off. I had never been to this bar or any other, I've been to plenty of clubs sure but never to a bar. Must say that I enjoyed that experience.
I am supposed to be meeting Eva today as she asked me to come by sometime this evening. For what purpose exactly, I don't know yet but I am trying not to have a panic attack thinking about the possible outcome. Fingers crossed, kids.
But now I need to head to the grocery store since I am cooking my friends breakfast this morning. Rachel Ray and Paula Dean really are my therapists. Hmm, wonder what they charge by the hour?
Last but not least, if you are in the Raleigh area tonight around 7 or 8 and you see a group of people wearing Santa hats then look sharp, because one of them is most likely myself.
A Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Good Night!
Friday, December 19, 2008
On Appreciation
You never know quite what you have until it's gone. I thought I had all ready learned that lesson last year, really DID NOT need the remedial course.
I remember being afraid of Eva developing feelings for me, thinking I did not deserve a second chance. That she could do so much better.
I remember feeling terrified and simultaneously amazed that Daybreak would adopt me as her dad and that I would come to think of her as my own.
Slowly but surely, these two carved out a home in my heart. So when Eva told me we should stop seeing each other, it was like my world stopped. My heart pounded and my eyes widened as I tried to comprehend why.
Yet despite how horrible I felt and still do, I almost hissed a negative response when asked if I regretted dating her in first place.
From her using my legs as a pillow while we studied, to picnic lunches in the park and lazing the day away playing, to the days I would keep an eye on Daybreak while Eva worked, to teasing each other like a family would, the past seven months have been some of the happiest of my life and I would not trade them.
One of my greatest fears was that I would do something to screw up this relationship. In the irony that seems to govern my life at times, I did too well trying to prove I could do right by someone and Eva broke up with me before we got too close for lasting damage.
My simple response was, "it's too late for that hun."
So Internet, I turn to you in my time of need. Especially those of who you are single parents or have dated them.
Is it OK to be selfish and want this to work even after she broke up with me? Or should I just try and be her friend? I'm at a lost here as I want so badly to just say screw it and kiss her senseless the next time I see her. I probably won't (not saying never as I know how my emotions take over at times) but it won't be for lack of desire to.
I know when to admit that I'm in over my head. Now is most definitely one of those times.
I remember being afraid of Eva developing feelings for me, thinking I did not deserve a second chance. That she could do so much better.
I remember feeling terrified and simultaneously amazed that Daybreak would adopt me as her dad and that I would come to think of her as my own.
Slowly but surely, these two carved out a home in my heart. So when Eva told me we should stop seeing each other, it was like my world stopped. My heart pounded and my eyes widened as I tried to comprehend why.
Yet despite how horrible I felt and still do, I almost hissed a negative response when asked if I regretted dating her in first place.
From her using my legs as a pillow while we studied, to picnic lunches in the park and lazing the day away playing, to the days I would keep an eye on Daybreak while Eva worked, to teasing each other like a family would, the past seven months have been some of the happiest of my life and I would not trade them.
One of my greatest fears was that I would do something to screw up this relationship. In the irony that seems to govern my life at times, I did too well trying to prove I could do right by someone and Eva broke up with me before we got too close for lasting damage.
My simple response was, "it's too late for that hun."
So Internet, I turn to you in my time of need. Especially those of who you are single parents or have dated them.
Is it OK to be selfish and want this to work even after she broke up with me? Or should I just try and be her friend? I'm at a lost here as I want so badly to just say screw it and kiss her senseless the next time I see her. I probably won't (not saying never as I know how my emotions take over at times) but it won't be for lack of desire to.
I know when to admit that I'm in over my head. Now is most definitely one of those times.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Wednesday Workshop: My Christmas Wishlist
Sorry for the serious lack of posting as of late folks, between trying to do well on my exams on top of the...well, the end of me and Eva's relationship my heart hasn't really been set on blogging. So hopefully this week's assignment from Mama Kat will improve my mood some.
1.) Write or share a letter to Santa
5...4...3...2...1...
Dear Santa,
I must first apologize for the long communications blackout. I lost my faith in your magic when I was 6 and I suppose I'm trying to find it again. I would like to hope you remember the kid who along with his little sister would leave you a PB & J sandwich along with a mug of chilled milk. After all, you have to know the address of every little kid in the world, so I figure it's not too much a long shot.
Normally this would be the part where I tell you what I want for Christmas. I'm a tad bit old for toys despite the saying about "boys and their toys", although I have to be honest and admit that a Macbook would not be unappreciated.
What I want can be summed up in two items:
One, I want Mami to go through a safe and successful labour and for Los Gemelos Nuevos to be born as a healthy little boy and girl. She has lost too much as is and I want my little brother and sister/godchildren to grow up, be happy in what they do, and give me nieces and nephews to spoil.
Two, and I know this one is a biggie, I want to be able to keep my promise to Daybreak and see her on Christmas. Consider it my last request as her father figure.
If I can have those two things then I would be entirely satisfied Mr. Kringle.
Please and Thank You,
Kendall A.
1.) Write or share a letter to Santa
5...4...3...2...1...
Dear Santa,
I must first apologize for the long communications blackout. I lost my faith in your magic when I was 6 and I suppose I'm trying to find it again. I would like to hope you remember the kid who along with his little sister would leave you a PB & J sandwich along with a mug of chilled milk. After all, you have to know the address of every little kid in the world, so I figure it's not too much a long shot.
Normally this would be the part where I tell you what I want for Christmas. I'm a tad bit old for toys despite the saying about "boys and their toys", although I have to be honest and admit that a Macbook would not be unappreciated.
What I want can be summed up in two items:
One, I want Mami to go through a safe and successful labour and for Los Gemelos Nuevos to be born as a healthy little boy and girl. She has lost too much as is and I want my little brother and sister/godchildren to grow up, be happy in what they do, and give me nieces and nephews to spoil.
Two, and I know this one is a biggie, I want to be able to keep my promise to Daybreak and see her on Christmas. Consider it my last request as her father figure.
If I can have those two things then I would be entirely satisfied Mr. Kringle.
Please and Thank You,
Kendall A.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Her Christmas Wish
Before I tell this story, I need to give you folks a bit of background info about Daybreak's shall we say...suspicious nature. She has been asking if Santa Claus is really real since yesterday when one of the kids she goes to preschool with made her cry by yelling at her that there was no such person. Little brat. So when she asked if we could go to the mall for her to see Santa we were, needless to say, a bit surprised and a bit more confused. You would think we knew by now that we were in for craziness.
With my fingers slightly numb -- from shopping bags, not the weather -- me and Eva watched as Daybreak tentatively approached her goal. I would not have been surprised to find little beads of sweat peppered across her forehead. She stopped a few feet short and wide green eyes turned to me and her mom with a classic deer-in-the-headlights expression. She shook her head and ran back into Eva's legs.
Eva: "What's wrong Daybreak?"
Daybreak: "I'm scared."
Me: "Of what?"
Daybreak: *mumbles*
Eva: "Speak up, I can't hear you when you talk into your coat."
Daybreak: "What if...what if he doesn't like me?"
Me: "He's Santa Sweetie, if he liked me as a kid then you are a shoe in for the nice list."
Daybreak: "Really?"
Me: "Cross my heart and hope to drink milk."
Daybreak: "I believe you. OK, I am going to talk to Santa."
She frowns in determination and strides forward, looking as if she were marching to war instead of telling the mall Santa what she wanted for Christmas. Me and Eva can't look at each other because we know we'd crack up laughing if that happened.
Santa: "So little miss, have you been a good girl this year?"
Daybreak: "I think so. Although my mommy says I'm per--pre--precoash..."
Santa: "Precocious?"
Daybreak: "Yes! Wow you're smart Santa."
Santa: "Why thank you."
Daybreak: "You're welcome. So since I've been good does that mean I get to tell you what I want?"
Santa: "Yes I do believe it does."
Daybreak: "Goody. I only have one thing to ask you for..."
And this point she leans into his ear and starts whispering while looking back at us every few moments. Finally, she gets off his lap and heads over to mingle with the group of kids playing and sucking on free candy canes. Seeing as how Daybreak was the last child at the moment, the Santa waved us over.
Santa: "Do you know what she wanted?"
Eva: "Considering how she kept looking back at us, I'm assuming we're involved somehow. But for the life of me, I don't know."
Me: "Me neither."
Santa: "She told me that all she wanted was for her 'Mommy' and 'Papa', you two, to be with her on Christmas morning. She told me that if that happened, then she knew I really must be real."
Me: "Since we planned on being together for Christmas that is no problem."
Santa: "Good. Listen I've done this for about 15 years and I've talked to a lot of kids. The ones who don't want some new toy or the like are few and far between. Don't disappoint her."
Eva: "We won't. Merry Christmas Santa."
Me: "Merry Christmas Mr. Kringle."
Santa: "And a merry Christmas to you both as well. Remember, 'he knows.'"
With my fingers slightly numb -- from shopping bags, not the weather -- me and Eva watched as Daybreak tentatively approached her goal. I would not have been surprised to find little beads of sweat peppered across her forehead. She stopped a few feet short and wide green eyes turned to me and her mom with a classic deer-in-the-headlights expression. She shook her head and ran back into Eva's legs.
Eva: "What's wrong Daybreak?"
Daybreak: "I'm scared."
Me: "Of what?"
Daybreak: *mumbles*
Eva: "Speak up, I can't hear you when you talk into your coat."
Daybreak: "What if...what if he doesn't like me?"
Me: "He's Santa Sweetie, if he liked me as a kid then you are a shoe in for the nice list."
Daybreak: "Really?"
Me: "Cross my heart and hope to drink milk."
Daybreak: "I believe you. OK, I am going to talk to Santa."
She frowns in determination and strides forward, looking as if she were marching to war instead of telling the mall Santa what she wanted for Christmas. Me and Eva can't look at each other because we know we'd crack up laughing if that happened.
Santa: "So little miss, have you been a good girl this year?"
Daybreak: "I think so. Although my mommy says I'm per--pre--precoash..."
Santa: "Precocious?"
Daybreak: "Yes! Wow you're smart Santa."
Santa: "Why thank you."
Daybreak: "You're welcome. So since I've been good does that mean I get to tell you what I want?"
Santa: "Yes I do believe it does."
Daybreak: "Goody. I only have one thing to ask you for..."
And this point she leans into his ear and starts whispering while looking back at us every few moments. Finally, she gets off his lap and heads over to mingle with the group of kids playing and sucking on free candy canes. Seeing as how Daybreak was the last child at the moment, the Santa waved us over.
Santa: "Do you know what she wanted?"
Eva: "Considering how she kept looking back at us, I'm assuming we're involved somehow. But for the life of me, I don't know."
Me: "Me neither."
Santa: "She told me that all she wanted was for her 'Mommy' and 'Papa', you two, to be with her on Christmas morning. She told me that if that happened, then she knew I really must be real."
Me: "Since we planned on being together for Christmas that is no problem."
Santa: "Good. Listen I've done this for about 15 years and I've talked to a lot of kids. The ones who don't want some new toy or the like are few and far between. Don't disappoint her."
Eva: "We won't. Merry Christmas Santa."
Me: "Merry Christmas Mr. Kringle."
Santa: "And a merry Christmas to you both as well. Remember, 'he knows.'"
Wednesday Workshop: Why I So Often Describe Myself As A Failure
It's that time again, my freaky darlings. My prompt this week goes as follows:
3.) Describe a "new road" you've taken in your life.
Originally I was going to do the "talking mouse" prompt but that's kind of taken a life all its own. So this is a tide-over so to speak. I promise to put up my short story once it's finished.
5...4...3...2...1...
------------------------
I have often said that I feel college has made me dumber but most people don't realize how little I am exaggerating that statement.
In January/February of my senior year of high school, I received a letter from the University of Florida offering me a full scholarship. Needless to say I jumped on it. I arrived not knowing a soul and by the time November rolled around, it had become my home. As an old friend put it, "Florida was my home, North Carolina was just where I grew up."
However, I was struggling to pass one class and was averaging a low C in another, my other twp classes I was coasting with a low B. Knowing my average could handle a C much more than it could a failing grade, I skipped a review section and end up missing the announcement about a change in final exam time to study for the class I was afraid to fail.
I missed that final and thus failed that class. The one dim ray of light was that maybe my hard work had paid off and I managed to scrape a passing grade in the one I studied my ass for. No dice. About a week later, I receive a letter dismissing for poor academic achievement.
I applied for readmission that spring. Denied. And right after spring break, had to move out of the dorm. I had told no one about this so when that time came I made a decision and started my brief stint as a homeless person.
I'm not going to go into all the details because I'm still too ashamed to talk about it as only Tinkerbell and Eva know everything about those days. All I will say is that this period ended with me being arrested for vagrancy.
I came back to North Carolina, sick with guilt, at least mildly traumatized, and with only a promise not to do so keeping me from ending my life. I am completely serious when I state that Tinkerbell saved me back then.
So come January, I took about 17 hours of community college classes in attempts to be readmitted to UF. However, the past year had taught me to always have a backup plan and a backup for that backup and applied to the University of North Carolina - Chapel Hill as well as several other schools just in case. It was during one of those community college classes that I became friends with Eva.
Because of my distraction from studying for midterms that I failed to doublecheck whether my transcripts had been sent to UF in time for the cutoff date. The word 'failure' seems to be pathetically common in my life.
However I was admitted to UNC and began making plans to share an apartment with the Bait come May. My educational life was finally getting back on track. But there was a serious snag in regards to my personal life.
But that story has largely been told here and here.
I can't believe I even admitted to half of this. I can't but feel like I have some rather pointed comments coming my way. All I can say to those who wish to do so is that you cannot say anything, and I mean anything, that I had not thought to myself multiple times over.
I am proud to admit though that I've maintained at least a 3.6 for the past three semesters (including the summer) and am on track to graduate on time in the spring of 2010.
I've come a long way from where I was this time last year. But at least I know who I am and what I am capable of now. Most importantly, I'm happy with that knowledge.
3.) Describe a "new road" you've taken in your life.
Originally I was going to do the "talking mouse" prompt but that's kind of taken a life all its own. So this is a tide-over so to speak. I promise to put up my short story once it's finished.
5...4...3...2...1...
------------------------
I have often said that I feel college has made me dumber but most people don't realize how little I am exaggerating that statement.
In January/February of my senior year of high school, I received a letter from the University of Florida offering me a full scholarship. Needless to say I jumped on it. I arrived not knowing a soul and by the time November rolled around, it had become my home. As an old friend put it, "Florida was my home, North Carolina was just where I grew up."
However, I was struggling to pass one class and was averaging a low C in another, my other twp classes I was coasting with a low B. Knowing my average could handle a C much more than it could a failing grade, I skipped a review section and end up missing the announcement about a change in final exam time to study for the class I was afraid to fail.
I missed that final and thus failed that class. The one dim ray of light was that maybe my hard work had paid off and I managed to scrape a passing grade in the one I studied my ass for. No dice. About a week later, I receive a letter dismissing for poor academic achievement.
I applied for readmission that spring. Denied. And right after spring break, had to move out of the dorm. I had told no one about this so when that time came I made a decision and started my brief stint as a homeless person.
I'm not going to go into all the details because I'm still too ashamed to talk about it as only Tinkerbell and Eva know everything about those days. All I will say is that this period ended with me being arrested for vagrancy.
I came back to North Carolina, sick with guilt, at least mildly traumatized, and with only a promise not to do so keeping me from ending my life. I am completely serious when I state that Tinkerbell saved me back then.
So come January, I took about 17 hours of community college classes in attempts to be readmitted to UF. However, the past year had taught me to always have a backup plan and a backup for that backup and applied to the University of North Carolina - Chapel Hill as well as several other schools just in case. It was during one of those community college classes that I became friends with Eva.
Because of my distraction from studying for midterms that I failed to doublecheck whether my transcripts had been sent to UF in time for the cutoff date. The word 'failure' seems to be pathetically common in my life.
However I was admitted to UNC and began making plans to share an apartment with the Bait come May. My educational life was finally getting back on track. But there was a serious snag in regards to my personal life.
But that story has largely been told here and here.
I can't believe I even admitted to half of this. I can't but feel like I have some rather pointed comments coming my way. All I can say to those who wish to do so is that you cannot say anything, and I mean anything, that I had not thought to myself multiple times over.
I am proud to admit though that I've maintained at least a 3.6 for the past three semesters (including the summer) and am on track to graduate on time in the spring of 2010.
I've come a long way from where I was this time last year. But at least I know who I am and what I am capable of now. Most importantly, I'm happy with that knowledge.
Monday, December 8, 2008
The Disneyfication of Christianity? Nah.
What does Christmas mean to you?
Well in my case,
Christmas is...
So what does Christmas mean for you folks?
Well in my case,
Christmas is...
- singing carols with breaks for hot chocolate and hot apple cider
- watching the excitement of a young child as they loudly thank Santa for his yearly bounty
- enjoying the chaos that surrounds the shopping centers and malls.
- reading these words to young ones, "...and all through the house, not a creature was stirring. Not even a mouse."
- deciding what decorations should adorn the tree this year.
- the smell of freshly baked gingerbread trees.
- making a mouth-watering meal for Christmas.
- the pit-pat of little feet rushing to presents.
- snuggling under a blanket with a loved one.
- walking down the street and taking in all the decorations from nativity scenes to lights as far as the eye can see.
- leaving a plate of cookies and milk for Santa on Christmas Eve.
- curling up on the couch to watch It's A Wonderful Life, A Charlie Brown Christmas, Miracle on 34th Street, and A Christmas Story.
- going to sleep early and then waking up at dawn on Christmas morning to open presents, even years after you stop believing in Santa.
- remembering the nervousness that characterized the wait between your letter to the North Pole and Christmas as you pondered your fate- were you naughty or nice?
- remembering when you yourself were small and you would sit in the lap of a mall Santa, a long wishlist on the tip of your tongue.
- the smile that lights your face the first time the tree is lit.
- being wrapped up in loved ones and them being wrapped up in you.
So what does Christmas mean for you folks?
Thursday, December 4, 2008
I Just Wanna Get Off
And in my typical fashion, I caught the innuendo as soon as I typed that.
Ahem, anywho. For those that have been reading my blog, I'm sorry that I haven't been up to snuff lately. I've come down with a bad case of LIFE recently. The doctors are still unsure whether or not it is terminal.
Don't feel like I'm singling you out blogging friends, I've been largely MIA from Fbook, AIM, and Twitter for a while. With all I have going on right now, my internet life has suffered. Hopefully the load will ease up shortly.
With the semester ending in two weeks, professors have got the bright idea to load us down with work on top of the studying needing for final exams. Two research papers, a drama production, a final in Bio lab, and then four final exams.
Were this not enough, I got the bright idea in my head to work 35 hour weeks from the week before Thanksgiving until classes start back up in January. I want to crawl in a hole and die.
I don't eat. I'm barely sleeping. And as I was shaving this morning, I found 3 grey hairs in my goatee. GREY?! I know that with the cold weather I have to use my cane at times but seriously. I'm too young for this shit.
A panic attack is imminent. I can just feel it creeping closer until I'm in full meltdown mode.
Sorry for the mini-rant folks, I promise that I will be back soon with something much more positive. Either the letters to Santa my students are writing or something equally...holiday-esque.
Happy trails!
Ahem, anywho. For those that have been reading my blog, I'm sorry that I haven't been up to snuff lately. I've come down with a bad case of LIFE recently. The doctors are still unsure whether or not it is terminal.
Don't feel like I'm singling you out blogging friends, I've been largely MIA from Fbook, AIM, and Twitter for a while. With all I have going on right now, my internet life has suffered. Hopefully the load will ease up shortly.
With the semester ending in two weeks, professors have got the bright idea to load us down with work on top of the studying needing for final exams. Two research papers, a drama production, a final in Bio lab, and then four final exams.
Were this not enough, I got the bright idea in my head to work 35 hour weeks from the week before Thanksgiving until classes start back up in January. I want to crawl in a hole and die.
I don't eat. I'm barely sleeping. And as I was shaving this morning, I found 3 grey hairs in my goatee. GREY?! I know that with the cold weather I have to use my cane at times but seriously. I'm too young for this shit.
A panic attack is imminent. I can just feel it creeping closer until I'm in full meltdown mode.
Sorry for the mini-rant folks, I promise that I will be back soon with something much more positive. Either the letters to Santa my students are writing or something equally...holiday-esque.
Happy trails!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
The Odd Duck's 100...Greatest Movies (Part II)
Recap: Part I
Y'all still with me? Good good. So here we are with films 90 through 81.
90. Barbershop (2002)
Featuring a star studded cast of comedians Barbershop is the story of a man who after selling the shop he inherited for his father learns that some things in life are more important than easy money. When this came up, my uncle's barber shop played it almost nonstop for a month so I can now quote it by heart.
89. Independence Day (1996)
The movie that fully launched Will Smith's acting career. Another movie that I can easily quote line-for-line. Two unlikely heroes emerge after an alien invasion wipes out the major cities of Earth and humanity must race against time or face extinction.
88. The Green Mile (1999)
Whereas most Stephen King adaptations make people scream or cringe in fright, this is the one that comes to mind that I have seen viewers cry over. This heartbreaking story follows a correction officer working on Death Row and the various inmates, including one who seems to be Divinely touched. This movie also introduced me to Michael Clarke Duncan and my first thought was..."this man is huge."
87. Mean Girls (2004)
As someone who had mostly female friends, some of whom would have been considered the populars, I watched this movie kind of hit home. This story of a formerly homeschooled student taking on the deliciously evil Queen Bee of the school was hilarious. This is one of Eva's favourite teen movies as she can impersonate the antagonist's mannerisms and voice near perfectly. Side note, I didn't realize until the election that this had Tina Fey in it.
86. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (2005)
The last of the life-action Star Wars films to be produced and the only one I went to the midnight showing for. This is the one we had all been waiting for as Darth Vader was born. The best part of this movie? I'll give you some clues: he's green, he's short, and he's the epitome of badass old man.
85. Fried Green Tomatoes
This is the touching and hilarious story of two women in love (best friends in the film) in Alabama as they help each other through each trial to face them. I know it's a chick flick but I'll just chalk this up as one of my guilty pleasures. If you've seen the movie and have been paying attention to my blog, you'll recognize two of the names.
84. Kill Bill Vol. 1 (2003)
Great action, quality dialogue, and some of the most catchy music ever, this is the movie that cemented me as a Tarantino fan. This is the story of one woman's revenge as she tracks down the assassins who killed her, her soon-to-be husband, her baby, and her wedding party.
83. Frankenstein (1931)
Billed as a horror movie, I always saw this as more of a tragedy. Frankenstein's monster strikes me as the hero of the film with the mob and Dr. Frankenstein as the villains. Also I will admit that I cannot watch the drowning scene without wanting to cry. Sniff.
82. Spaceballs (1987)
An utterly hilarious parody of sci-fi films such as Star Wars, this movie was a staple of my film education. I can't accurately describe this one without giving things away. Hehe, Lord Dark Helmet.
81. The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)
A Disneyfication of Victor Hugo's classic novel, Quasimodo is a disfigured and greatly sheltered bell ringer who must save his new friend from the man who "raised" him. After watching this movie, ask yourself: "What makes a monster and what makes a man?"
Part III will be up soon folks as we continue counting down towards Number 1.
Happy trails!
Y'all still with me? Good good. So here we are with films 90 through 81.
90. Barbershop (2002)
Featuring a star studded cast of comedians Barbershop is the story of a man who after selling the shop he inherited for his father learns that some things in life are more important than easy money. When this came up, my uncle's barber shop played it almost nonstop for a month so I can now quote it by heart.
89. Independence Day (1996)
The movie that fully launched Will Smith's acting career. Another movie that I can easily quote line-for-line. Two unlikely heroes emerge after an alien invasion wipes out the major cities of Earth and humanity must race against time or face extinction.
88. The Green Mile (1999)
Whereas most Stephen King adaptations make people scream or cringe in fright, this is the one that comes to mind that I have seen viewers cry over. This heartbreaking story follows a correction officer working on Death Row and the various inmates, including one who seems to be Divinely touched. This movie also introduced me to Michael Clarke Duncan and my first thought was..."this man is huge."
87. Mean Girls (2004)
As someone who had mostly female friends, some of whom would have been considered the populars, I watched this movie kind of hit home. This story of a formerly homeschooled student taking on the deliciously evil Queen Bee of the school was hilarious. This is one of Eva's favourite teen movies as she can impersonate the antagonist's mannerisms and voice near perfectly. Side note, I didn't realize until the election that this had Tina Fey in it.
86. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (2005)
The last of the life-action Star Wars films to be produced and the only one I went to the midnight showing for. This is the one we had all been waiting for as Darth Vader was born. The best part of this movie? I'll give you some clues: he's green, he's short, and he's the epitome of badass old man.
85. Fried Green Tomatoes
This is the touching and hilarious story of two women in love (best friends in the film) in Alabama as they help each other through each trial to face them. I know it's a chick flick but I'll just chalk this up as one of my guilty pleasures. If you've seen the movie and have been paying attention to my blog, you'll recognize two of the names.
84. Kill Bill Vol. 1 (2003)
Great action, quality dialogue, and some of the most catchy music ever, this is the movie that cemented me as a Tarantino fan. This is the story of one woman's revenge as she tracks down the assassins who killed her, her soon-to-be husband, her baby, and her wedding party.
83. Frankenstein (1931)
Billed as a horror movie, I always saw this as more of a tragedy. Frankenstein's monster strikes me as the hero of the film with the mob and Dr. Frankenstein as the villains. Also I will admit that I cannot watch the drowning scene without wanting to cry. Sniff.
82. Spaceballs (1987)
An utterly hilarious parody of sci-fi films such as Star Wars, this movie was a staple of my film education. I can't accurately describe this one without giving things away. Hehe, Lord Dark Helmet.
81. The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)
A Disneyfication of Victor Hugo's classic novel, Quasimodo is a disfigured and greatly sheltered bell ringer who must save his new friend from the man who "raised" him. After watching this movie, ask yourself: "What makes a monster and what makes a man?"
Part III will be up soon folks as we continue counting down towards Number 1.
Happy trails!
Wednesday Workshop: Dolly Hearts Ramses
It's that time again folks. My assignment from Mama Kat this week goes as follows:
1.) Tag! Post and write about the 6th picture from (the 6th folder of?) your Flickr account and then do the same for the 6th picture of the 6th folder on your computer.
5...4...3...2...1...
This is a picture of Dolly posing with Ramses before the last football game against Duke.
I had yet to actually go to one so me, her, and Scarlett met Eva in the Duke section. That was awesome, especially the reactions we got when people noticed we were decked out in UNC paraphernalia.
Duke fan: I think you're in the wrong section.
Scarlett: No, you just went to the wrong school.
Eva: (head in her hands) I don't know these people.
Good times indeed.
By the way, we won that game 28-20. GO HEELS!
1.) Tag! Post and write about the 6th picture from (the 6th folder of?) your Flickr account and then do the same for the 6th picture of the 6th folder on your computer.
5...4...3...2...1...
This is a picture of Dolly posing with Ramses before the last football game against Duke.
I had yet to actually go to one so me, her, and Scarlett met Eva in the Duke section. That was awesome, especially the reactions we got when people noticed we were decked out in UNC paraphernalia.
Duke fan: I think you're in the wrong section.
Scarlett: No, you just went to the wrong school.
Eva: (head in her hands) I don't know these people.
Good times indeed.
By the way, we won that game 28-20. GO HEELS!
Monday, December 1, 2008
The Odd Duck's 100...Greatest Movies
Over the holiday, I was tasked by Eva's older sister to name my top 10 favourite films of all time. I won't lie, I struggled like hell and still wasn't satisfied with the list I came up with. Like always, my perfectionism has reared its ugly head and for your viewing pleasure I will list my 100 most enjoyed films...along with commentary. So sit back. Relax. And enjoy.
A word of warning, this list is HIGHLY subjective and you're more than likely going to disagree. Remember this is all in fun.
100. Hellraiser (1987)
I first saw this film when I was about 7 or 8 during a Thanksgiving trip to New Jersey to see my grandparents. Within the first few minutes of his appearance, Pinhead was one of my favourite movie monsters plus the idea of killer sentient chains was freaky. Even now, I will pull out my VHS copy if I want a good horror movie to watch. Side note, since watching this movie Clive Barker has become one of my favourite authors. Next time you pick up an innocent toy, ask yourself, is it really innocent?
99. The Secret of NIMH (1982)
Another favourite from my childhood, this movie follows the journey of the widowed Mrs. Brisby as she discovers her husband's past as a lab experiement. Easily some of the best storytelling I have seen in an animated film, this movie is one for the ages. Although I must admit that seeing Nicodemus and his glowing eyes gave me nightmares. If you enjoy Don Bleuth's works, then I urge you to give this film a look-see.
98. Princess Diaries (2001)
The movie that introduced me to Anne Hathaway and featuring the fabulous Julie Andrews (Sound of Music, Mary Poppins). Mia is a high school girl who is a fellow "odd duck" until she discovers that she is actually the heir to the throne of Genovia. A rather lighthearted comedy, it is a great teen film. Don't think so? "Shut. Up."
97. Reservoir Dogs (1992)
The debut film of Quentin Tarantino, it was what first got me into the gangster genre in the first place. Filled with pop culture references, quotable dialogue, excessive profanity, and Tarantino's trademark nonlinear storytelling. Highly recommended for any fan of action movies.
96. Big Momma's House (2000)
Growing up as a fan of Martin's eponymous show, this movie was a must-see for my family. We laughed until we cried. Between the basketball and baby delivery scene, the laughs never really stopped. I remember during the church scene at the end, the theater was on their feet clapping along. Good times indeed.
95. Jerry Maguire (1996)
The dramedy from Tom Cruise, Renée Zellweger and Cuba Gooding Jr. about a sports agent and his pro football client. Featuring a very young Jonathan Lipnicki. This movie, even if it was crappy, would have made it to the list for this one scene:
94. Lucas (1986)
The tale of an extremely intelligent and equally nerdy high school freshman, Lucas remains to this day one of the few movies that can make me cry. When I first watched this I was scared it was going to end like Carrie (sans telekinesis) or a suicide, instead I watched as the same teenagers who tormented our hero throughout accepted him after one of the most daring stunts I've ever seen. He wants so badly to be accepted and when it happens...manly tears. Side note, scope out the young Charlie Sheen and Winona Ryder.
93. Big Fish (2003)
Hailed as Tim Burton's masterpiece, this easily made my list. Told from the prespective of a dying father as his son tries to uncover his dad's life (filled with fantastic events) and comes to realize that storytelling was indeed his finest achievement. A truly brilliant and inspiring film.
92. Boondock Saints (1999)
This one I actually learned about from Mass, as it was criticized for its potrayal of Catholicism. Curious, I rented it and loved it from the get-go. Fraternal twins go on a Divinely inspired killing spree as they (along with a mob-connected friend) clean up the streets of Boston. And of course, we can't forget the cat.
91. Little Shop of Horrors (1986)
The first musical I ever saw and it remains one of my favourites to this day. As someone who grew up gardening, that isn't all that surprising. I think this is also the first time I saw Steve Martin (not sure if I had seen Father of the Bride yet) and he scared the hell out of me. Because of this movie, I was terrified of any dentist with black hair until I was about 9.
Well folks, that's it for today. I'll be back with movies 90-81 as we continue counting down toward number one.
Stay tuned.
A word of warning, this list is HIGHLY subjective and you're more than likely going to disagree. Remember this is all in fun.
100. Hellraiser (1987)
I first saw this film when I was about 7 or 8 during a Thanksgiving trip to New Jersey to see my grandparents. Within the first few minutes of his appearance, Pinhead was one of my favourite movie monsters plus the idea of killer sentient chains was freaky. Even now, I will pull out my VHS copy if I want a good horror movie to watch. Side note, since watching this movie Clive Barker has become one of my favourite authors. Next time you pick up an innocent toy, ask yourself, is it really innocent?
99. The Secret of NIMH (1982)
Another favourite from my childhood, this movie follows the journey of the widowed Mrs. Brisby as she discovers her husband's past as a lab experiement. Easily some of the best storytelling I have seen in an animated film, this movie is one for the ages. Although I must admit that seeing Nicodemus and his glowing eyes gave me nightmares. If you enjoy Don Bleuth's works, then I urge you to give this film a look-see.
98. Princess Diaries (2001)
The movie that introduced me to Anne Hathaway and featuring the fabulous Julie Andrews (Sound of Music, Mary Poppins). Mia is a high school girl who is a fellow "odd duck" until she discovers that she is actually the heir to the throne of Genovia. A rather lighthearted comedy, it is a great teen film. Don't think so? "Shut. Up."
97. Reservoir Dogs (1992)
The debut film of Quentin Tarantino, it was what first got me into the gangster genre in the first place. Filled with pop culture references, quotable dialogue, excessive profanity, and Tarantino's trademark nonlinear storytelling. Highly recommended for any fan of action movies.
96. Big Momma's House (2000)
Growing up as a fan of Martin's eponymous show, this movie was a must-see for my family. We laughed until we cried. Between the basketball and baby delivery scene, the laughs never really stopped. I remember during the church scene at the end, the theater was on their feet clapping along. Good times indeed.
95. Jerry Maguire (1996)
The dramedy from Tom Cruise, Renée Zellweger and Cuba Gooding Jr. about a sports agent and his pro football client. Featuring a very young Jonathan Lipnicki. This movie, even if it was crappy, would have made it to the list for this one scene:
94. Lucas (1986)
The tale of an extremely intelligent and equally nerdy high school freshman, Lucas remains to this day one of the few movies that can make me cry. When I first watched this I was scared it was going to end like Carrie (sans telekinesis) or a suicide, instead I watched as the same teenagers who tormented our hero throughout accepted him after one of the most daring stunts I've ever seen. He wants so badly to be accepted and when it happens...manly tears. Side note, scope out the young Charlie Sheen and Winona Ryder.
93. Big Fish (2003)
Hailed as Tim Burton's masterpiece, this easily made my list. Told from the prespective of a dying father as his son tries to uncover his dad's life (filled with fantastic events) and comes to realize that storytelling was indeed his finest achievement. A truly brilliant and inspiring film.
92. Boondock Saints (1999)
This one I actually learned about from Mass, as it was criticized for its potrayal of Catholicism. Curious, I rented it and loved it from the get-go. Fraternal twins go on a Divinely inspired killing spree as they (along with a mob-connected friend) clean up the streets of Boston. And of course, we can't forget the cat.
91. Little Shop of Horrors (1986)
The first musical I ever saw and it remains one of my favourites to this day. As someone who grew up gardening, that isn't all that surprising. I think this is also the first time I saw Steve Martin (not sure if I had seen Father of the Bride yet) and he scared the hell out of me. Because of this movie, I was terrified of any dentist with black hair until I was about 9.
Well folks, that's it for today. I'll be back with movies 90-81 as we continue counting down toward number one.
Stay tuned.
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