My Weekend: The Abridged Version

I hope you folks have enjoyed your weekends thus far and have tried not to get too shitfaced. Here was my weekend in short scenes.

Scene 1: On the bus back from Schoolhouse Rock
Skittles: (horribly off key) "CONJUNCTION! JUNCTION! What's your function?!"
WG: (holding her hand over her eyes) "I'll conjunction your function if you don't stop."

Later...
Frizzle: "I have very good news for all of you."
"We're getting a pony!"
"Barney's coming here!"
"The aliens are here!"
Frizzle: "Umm...no. You all said you hoped Kendall could stay with us. Well he is."
Skittles: "Yay, we get to keep our Kendall!"
Me: "I didn't know I was a pet, little one."
Skittles: "I don't know. You'd be cute with a pink collar. Are you paper trained yet? Have you had your shots?"

Scene 2: State Fair
Imogen: "So what do y'all want to do first?"
Eva: "We're getting on the Ferris Wheel. Someone has never been on one."
Ruth: "What kind of sheltered soul has never been on a Ferris Wheel?"
Daybreak: "Papa?"
Imogen/Ruth: "We should have known."
Me: "Nuh uh, more like the kind of sheltered soul that doesn't come to your waist and is afraid of heights."
Eva: "She has always kicked a fit when I would try and get her to."
Imogen: "So she tried to buck the blame to Kendall?"
Me: "Yep."
Ruth: "This child is becoming more like you every day."
Me: "Scary isn't it?"

Scene 3: Watching movies at Eva's apartment
Eva: "Daybreak, what are you doing?"
Daybreak: "Gettin' comftable."
Eva: "Comfortable means crawling into Kendall's hoodie like a kangaroo?"
Daybreak: "Yes Mommy."
Me: "Apparently I'm warm."
Daybreak: "He's a teddy that hugs back."
Eva: "Beaten out by my own daughter, I see how it is."
Me: "Daybreak, since I can't see past the mass of blond hair in front of my mouth, how about we all just share a blanket?"
Daybreak: (taps her chin through my hoodie) "I s'pose."
Eva: "This way we both get to use Kendall's heat."

Scene 4: Church with The Bait and Pippi
The Bait: "I still think I'm onto something."
Me: "We're not exorcising Faith, end of story."
The Bait: "She's evil."
Pippi: "How do you figure? Faith's the cutest puppy ever."
The Bait: "You only say that because she doesn't enjoy tormenting you. That dog is evil."
Me: (laughing) "That makes her evil?"
The Bait: "What would you call it?"
Me: "Knowing when I've found an easy target and milking them for all their worth."