Please allow me to explain something. I think rapists are the scum of the earth along with child abusers and murderers. So when this guy said this as if it was common sense, I had to fight down the urge to throw down right there. Thankfully, The Ginger had to have a death grip on my wrist so I wouldn't make a move.
In the urge to protect one of my secrets, I quickly calmed myself down. Apparently not quick enough. The Ginger pulled me around the corner and asked why I took what that guy said so personally. I felt exposed. I stamped out (barely) the tremor in my voice as I told her that it was personal to me.
Well because I know how it feels to be on the receiving end. One day in the early fall of 1996, my innocence was obliterated behind a neighboring house. I was held down by four guys who decided to have some fun with the kid who thought he could run his mouth to them.
Two things I took away from that experience.
- Adults are useless. I remember going home and doing what I could to clean myself. I remember my mom asking how my day was. I said it was OK. Showing just how much she knew her oldest child, she believed me. I think that's when I gave up on her.
- Sex is pain. I was terrified of sex for most of my life. I thought of myself as used goods until Tinkerbell held me and told me that couldn't be farther from the truth. I was stunned. She knew I had been raped and still thought I was worth something? I'm sad to say but it made no sense to me that she would not turn me away at that point. That night, I got over my fear of physical intimacy for good.That night, I finally cried.
No one ever ASKS to be raped and to think such tripe goes beyond ignorance into inhumane territory. If you yourself are a victim of rape or any type of sexual abuse, I urge you to seek help somewhere either from a professional or from a highly trusted friend or relative.
You are not alone.
You are not worthless.
You DID NOT DESERVE IT.
Remember There Is Help...There Is Hope.