A Letter To Heaven

For those expecting a post of my normal length tonight, I'm sorry to disappoint. My heart just isn't in it.

I was in Bio lecture when I happened to look down at my cell phone and noticed the date. Like a strike from Zeus himself, the significance of today hit me. In that moment, I felt like someone had my heart in an unforgiving vice grip. My vision began to blur as tears crept into the corners of my eyes.

A year ago today, the woman who restored my faith in family, died as a result of a collision with a drunk driver. She was the one who decided to help an 8 year-old boy learn to love reading and slowly, through pure heart and stubbornness, showed she cared for and even loved him as her own. Two weeks before this, she had found out she was pregnant.

When my life went to hell last year, she was one of the handful of people I could talk to. I regret not telling her just how much she meant to me while she was still alive.

Even though we were in no way related, I had thought of her as my Mom from the time I was 14 and even now. Ironically, I found out later she and her wife had long considered adopting me. I finally felt wanted for once.

You should see Mami, she looks like she's ready to pop any day now. Hopefully I'll get up to Mass for Christmas and sometime after Los Gemelos Nuevos are born to see her. I promise to be a fantastic big brother/godfather to them. She has found love again in an old friend, you'd approve. R can even keep her from being her normal hotheaded self which I know you'd appreciate.

Mom, I would like to say a few things. I love you, I can't stress that enough and I hope I'm doing you proud. I look forward to the day I can see you again. We'll sip sweet tea (I know a bunch of people, yourself included, who'd be madder than wet hornets if Heaven had no sweet tea) and I'll tell you all about my crazy adventures. But until then, I can rest easy knowing you haven't stopped watching out for me.

Su Hijo,

Kendall

P. S. When I finally get where you are, you bring the coffee and I'll bring the cake.