(Note From the Management: The opinions expressed in the Speak Out Series are those of their individual writer and not necessarily shared by myself. The only influence I have on this is showing them how to post and letting them use my password. Thank you.)
R: Hi I'm Ruth.
I: And I'm Imogen, whose significance I just figured out the other week. Kendall was amused.
R: He's easily amused anyway so I'm not surprised to hear this. Anywho, your dear Odd Duck has allowed us to take his blog hostage for the day while he gallivants around with Eva and Daybreak tonight in search of lots of candy.
I: We had to think pretty hard about what we wanted to write about and then the news literally hands it into our laps.
R: California's Proposition 8, ladies and gents.
I: Now as a couple who happens to like the supposed penis, we have often caught flack from people telling us we're going to Hell or very not subtle propositions from guys saying they can cure us.
R: However, probably the hardest part of all was coming out to our families. I grew up with a very conservative Southern Baptist mom, who often condemned gay people to go to Hell.
I: Even though people think I'm Hindi because I'm Indian, I am not religious at all. My adopted family isn't either so it was just slightly awkward. Ruth though, well she needed some help.
R: It was this past summer when I told Kendall and Eva I was gay. Eva I knew would still be my friend since we had been since we were in diapers and Kendall is the lesbian's fag hag so there was no chance of him having a problem with it. They both went with me when I told my mom I was gay. At one point in her yelling, I had had enough and walked away in tears. Eva came after me while he talked my mom down.
I: Have either of them told you what was said that day?
R: All my mom will say is that I have very loyal friends and all Kendall will say is that he did what he could to help her see that she had hurt me.
I: I remember our first double date with those two. I had met Eva once and had only heard of Kendall. He made sure to sit across from me in that IHOP and when I finally met his eyes, I saw him making a bunch of goofy faces.
R: They're our friends, they wanted you to be comfortable and it worked. But we've gotten off topic. There is now a proposition to repeal the right of same-sex couples to marry in California. I honestly wish I lived in California so I could vote against it but alas, all we can do is spread the word.
I: One more thing, those who think we are going to Hell for loving each other? We'll be sure to save you seats.
R & I: Thanks bunches!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
"Will You Be My Neighbour?"
Here's the skinny. I'm walking home from work when I notice a man of about middle age across from a jack-o-lantern display. I would have turned away and kept walking were it not for the fact that he carried a large white sign that proclaimed DO AWAY WITH HALLOWEEN. Even better, he very very much resembled Fred Rogers.
For those of you who are new here, I love Halloween. It's even more exciting than Christmas to me. So saying I was a tad disturbed by this would be an understatement. After the debacle with the two McCain supporters, you'd think I'd have learned my lesson by now.
You would think.
So yet again I meander up to this protester and ask him what issue he takes with this holiday.
Kendall versus the Protester. Take Two. Ohhhhh...LET'S GET READY TO RUMMMMBLE!
Me: Excuse me Sir, but what does Satan have to do with Halloween?
Mr. Rogers: It is a Pagan holiday and has no place in a Christian country.
Me: I suppose that logic makes sense were it not for two things.
Mr. Rogers: And what would those be, young man?
Me: One, this isn't a Christian country. Two, one of the biggest holidays of the Christian calendar started off as a pagan holiday.
Mr. Rogers: Son, words change meaning all the time. Christmas is no longer a pagan holiday. I personally do not see the good in it from a spiritual or mental point of view.
Me: I think Halloween has become our one holiday where there is no better meaning. It's just meant to be fun.
Mr. Rogers: On that we agree, however, I don't feel comfortable with the fact there is nothing to really celebrate. It's merely an excuse to scare the dickens out of other folks.
Me: I can respect that stance. I've known families who would do other things on Halloween since they didn't agree with it. But now that I think about it, I think there is a greater lesson to Halloween.
Mr. Rogers: And what would that be Son?
Me: That no one should take themselves too seriously.
And the Mr. Rogers look-alike chuckled at that one, agreeing on this point. We ended up chatting for a few more minutes until I said I had to go.
Me: Sir, may I ask you a question?
Mr. Rogers: Go right ahead.
Me: Will you be my neighbour?
Mr. Rogers threw his head back and laughed. He looked at me with a smile and said, "I get that a lot."
So today I learned the meaning of Halloween. Or puzzled it out I suppose would be more accurate. At least it's better than waiting for the Great Pumpkin to rise. Poor Linus.
The moral of today's story? Don't take yourself so seriously. If only for this one night of the year.
And in the spirit of that lesson, I shall leave you with a rather appropriate song from my favourite movie of all time.
Happy Halloween Folks!
For those of you who are new here, I love Halloween. It's even more exciting than Christmas to me. So saying I was a tad disturbed by this would be an understatement. After the debacle with the two McCain supporters, you'd think I'd have learned my lesson by now.
You would think.
So yet again I meander up to this protester and ask him what issue he takes with this holiday.
Kendall versus the Protester. Take Two. Ohhhhh...LET'S GET READY TO RUMMMMBLE!
Me: Excuse me Sir, but what does Satan have to do with Halloween?
Mr. Rogers: It is a Pagan holiday and has no place in a Christian country.
Me: I suppose that logic makes sense were it not for two things.
Mr. Rogers: And what would those be, young man?
Me: One, this isn't a Christian country. Two, one of the biggest holidays of the Christian calendar started off as a pagan holiday.
Mr. Rogers: Son, words change meaning all the time. Christmas is no longer a pagan holiday. I personally do not see the good in it from a spiritual or mental point of view.
Me: I think Halloween has become our one holiday where there is no better meaning. It's just meant to be fun.
Mr. Rogers: On that we agree, however, I don't feel comfortable with the fact there is nothing to really celebrate. It's merely an excuse to scare the dickens out of other folks.
Me: I can respect that stance. I've known families who would do other things on Halloween since they didn't agree with it. But now that I think about it, I think there is a greater lesson to Halloween.
Mr. Rogers: And what would that be Son?
Me: That no one should take themselves too seriously.
And the Mr. Rogers look-alike chuckled at that one, agreeing on this point. We ended up chatting for a few more minutes until I said I had to go.
Me: Sir, may I ask you a question?
Mr. Rogers: Go right ahead.
Me: Will you be my neighbour?
Mr. Rogers threw his head back and laughed. He looked at me with a smile and said, "I get that a lot."
So today I learned the meaning of Halloween. Or puzzled it out I suppose would be more accurate. At least it's better than waiting for the Great Pumpkin to rise. Poor Linus.
The moral of today's story? Don't take yourself so seriously. If only for this one night of the year.
And in the spirit of that lesson, I shall leave you with a rather appropriate song from my favourite movie of all time.
Happy Halloween Folks!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
The Day The Innocence Died
Eating lunch with a group of my Bio classmates, we somehow stumbled upon the topic of frat parties and date rape. The girls shared about how they never let their drinks out of their sight while us guys talked about keeping an eye on our female friends. The conversation had moved to more pleasant subjects when one jackass from the table over makes the comment that any one stupid enough to be raped, had it coming.
Please allow me to explain something. I think rapists are the scum of the earth along with child abusers and murderers. So when this guy said this as if it was common sense, I had to fight down the urge to throw down right there. Thankfully, The Ginger had to have a death grip on my wrist so I wouldn't make a move.
In the urge to protect one of my secrets, I quickly calmed myself down. Apparently not quick enough. The Ginger pulled me around the corner and asked why I took what that guy said so personally. I felt exposed. I stamped out (barely) the tremor in my voice as I told her that it was personal to me.
Why?
Well because I know how it feels to be on the receiving end. One day in the early fall of 1996, my innocence was obliterated behind a neighboring house. I was held down by four guys who decided to have some fun with the kid who thought he could run his mouth to them.
Two things I took away from that experience.
No one ever ASKS to be raped and to think such tripe goes beyond ignorance into inhumane territory. If you yourself are a victim of rape or any type of sexual abuse, I urge you to seek help somewhere either from a professional or from a highly trusted friend or relative.
You are not alone.
You are not worthless.
You DID NOT DESERVE IT.
Remember There Is Help...There Is Hope.
Please allow me to explain something. I think rapists are the scum of the earth along with child abusers and murderers. So when this guy said this as if it was common sense, I had to fight down the urge to throw down right there. Thankfully, The Ginger had to have a death grip on my wrist so I wouldn't make a move.
In the urge to protect one of my secrets, I quickly calmed myself down. Apparently not quick enough. The Ginger pulled me around the corner and asked why I took what that guy said so personally. I felt exposed. I stamped out (barely) the tremor in my voice as I told her that it was personal to me.
Why?
Well because I know how it feels to be on the receiving end. One day in the early fall of 1996, my innocence was obliterated behind a neighboring house. I was held down by four guys who decided to have some fun with the kid who thought he could run his mouth to them.
Two things I took away from that experience.
- Adults are useless. I remember going home and doing what I could to clean myself. I remember my mom asking how my day was. I said it was OK. Showing just how much she knew her oldest child, she believed me. I think that's when I gave up on her.
- Sex is pain. I was terrified of sex for most of my life. I thought of myself as used goods until Tinkerbell held me and told me that couldn't be farther from the truth. I was stunned. She knew I had been raped and still thought I was worth something? I'm sad to say but it made no sense to me that she would not turn me away at that point. That night, I got over my fear of physical intimacy for good.That night, I finally cried.
No one ever ASKS to be raped and to think such tripe goes beyond ignorance into inhumane territory. If you yourself are a victim of rape or any type of sexual abuse, I urge you to seek help somewhere either from a professional or from a highly trusted friend or relative.
You are not alone.
You are not worthless.
You DID NOT DESERVE IT.
Remember There Is Help...There Is Hope.
Don't Put Those Dirty Lips On Me
I found Mama's Losin' It through my friend Diane. The amazing thing about this site is that she gives a list of weekly writing prompts. This week, I chose to write from the point of view of a glass at the edge of the table.
5...4...3...2...1...
I wonder if people realize just how much they say when they assume nothing is listening. Obviously none of these meat sacks has ever seen Toy Story.
Something I always wondered...who was smoking the hemp when the expression "glass half empty/full" came about? I'm always full. Don't believe me? Even I know that everything has mass, even air. So when you have it pushing at your insides like a particularly righteous case of gas, you know it's there.
Another question: Do you meat sacks realize how truly disgusting your lips and hands are? What, it's only harassment when it's another meat sack? I call racism. Yeah, I said it. Racism. I'm only a year old. That's illegal right? Someone call that Chris Hansen guy, I'm sure he'll help me out.
Ooh here comes the lady of the house. The one semi-decent meat sack in this hive of scum and villainy. She doesn't put her lips on me, she always uses a straw which I'm so thankful for. Wait, where she is taking me? Oh no, not the dishwasher! Come on lady, I've done nothing to deserve this! I'd like to see you go through a car wash and see how you like it!
Well fu--- *gurgle*
5...4...3...2...1...
I wonder if people realize just how much they say when they assume nothing is listening. Obviously none of these meat sacks has ever seen Toy Story.
Something I always wondered...who was smoking the hemp when the expression "glass half empty/full" came about? I'm always full. Don't believe me? Even I know that everything has mass, even air. So when you have it pushing at your insides like a particularly righteous case of gas, you know it's there.
Another question: Do you meat sacks realize how truly disgusting your lips and hands are? What, it's only harassment when it's another meat sack? I call racism. Yeah, I said it. Racism. I'm only a year old. That's illegal right? Someone call that Chris Hansen guy, I'm sure he'll help me out.
Ooh here comes the lady of the house. The one semi-decent meat sack in this hive of scum and villainy. She doesn't put her lips on me, she always uses a straw which I'm so thankful for. Wait, where she is taking me? Oh no, not the dishwasher! Come on lady, I've done nothing to deserve this! I'd like to see you go through a car wash and see how you like it!
Well fu--- *gurgle*
Monday, October 27, 2008
A Letter To Heaven
For those expecting a post of my normal length tonight, I'm sorry to disappoint. My heart just isn't in it.
I was in Bio lecture when I happened to look down at my cell phone and noticed the date. Like a strike from Zeus himself, the significance of today hit me. In that moment, I felt like someone had my heart in an unforgiving vice grip. My vision began to blur as tears crept into the corners of my eyes.
A year ago today, the woman who restored my faith in family, died as a result of a collision with a drunk driver. She was the one who decided to help an 8 year-old boy learn to love reading and slowly, through pure heart and stubbornness, showed she cared for and even loved him as her own. Two weeks before this, she had found out she was pregnant.
When my life went to hell last year, she was one of the handful of people I could talk to. I regret not telling her just how much she meant to me while she was still alive.
Even though we were in no way related, I had thought of her as my Mom from the time I was 14 and even now. Ironically, I found out later she and her wife had long considered adopting me. I finally felt wanted for once.
You should see Mami, she looks like she's ready to pop any day now. Hopefully I'll get up to Mass for Christmas and sometime after Los Gemelos Nuevos are born to see her. I promise to be a fantastic big brother/godfather to them. She has found love again in an old friend, you'd approve. R can even keep her from being her normal hotheaded self which I know you'd appreciate.
Mom, I would like to say a few things. I love you, I can't stress that enough and I hope I'm doing you proud. I look forward to the day I can see you again. We'll sip sweet tea (I know a bunch of people, yourself included, who'd be madder than wet hornets if Heaven had no sweet tea) and I'll tell you all about my crazy adventures. But until then, I can rest easy knowing you haven't stopped watching out for me.
Su Hijo,
Kendall
P. S. When I finally get where you are, you bring the coffee and I'll bring the cake.
I was in Bio lecture when I happened to look down at my cell phone and noticed the date. Like a strike from Zeus himself, the significance of today hit me. In that moment, I felt like someone had my heart in an unforgiving vice grip. My vision began to blur as tears crept into the corners of my eyes.
A year ago today, the woman who restored my faith in family, died as a result of a collision with a drunk driver. She was the one who decided to help an 8 year-old boy learn to love reading and slowly, through pure heart and stubbornness, showed she cared for and even loved him as her own. Two weeks before this, she had found out she was pregnant.
When my life went to hell last year, she was one of the handful of people I could talk to. I regret not telling her just how much she meant to me while she was still alive.
Even though we were in no way related, I had thought of her as my Mom from the time I was 14 and even now. Ironically, I found out later she and her wife had long considered adopting me. I finally felt wanted for once.
You should see Mami, she looks like she's ready to pop any day now. Hopefully I'll get up to Mass for Christmas and sometime after Los Gemelos Nuevos are born to see her. I promise to be a fantastic big brother/godfather to them. She has found love again in an old friend, you'd approve. R can even keep her from being her normal hotheaded self which I know you'd appreciate.
Mom, I would like to say a few things. I love you, I can't stress that enough and I hope I'm doing you proud. I look forward to the day I can see you again. We'll sip sweet tea (I know a bunch of people, yourself included, who'd be madder than wet hornets if Heaven had no sweet tea) and I'll tell you all about my crazy adventures. But until then, I can rest easy knowing you haven't stopped watching out for me.
Su Hijo,
Kendall
P. S. When I finally get where you are, you bring the coffee and I'll bring the cake.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
"When I Get Where I'm Goin'"
With my 21st birthday creeping up on me slowly but surely, I feel like Atlas. With graduation only 46 credits away, I feel like all the air is being sucked from the room. At the risk of sounding like a whiny college student, the future scares the living daylights out of me.
The weird part is that it's not the job market that scares me. I know teachers are needed everywhere and with Teach For America, I shouldn't have too much difficulty making it in the door.
It's not the election. No matter who wins, although I've made it fairly obvious who I voted for, the world will go on either way. Is there very high potential for rough times? Yes but America's a tough old broad and she won't give up without fighting with all the grit she has.
It's not the idea of being independent from my parents that scares me. Emotionally, I've been independent since I was in my early teens. Financially, I have been since about July. So that isn't it either.
In my heart of hearts, the one I hide behind smiles and a seemingly easy-going nature, I know what the problem is. I just hate admitting to it.
For as long as I can remember, I have wanted a family of my own. Despite everything I've seen and gone through, I still want to believe in happily ever after. No matter how much my mind tries to pull life support on that hope, it has yet to die. I'm realizing now that it likely never will.
I was dancing with Daybreak while she stood on my toes when she looks up at me and asks, "when are you and Mommy going to give me a little sister?" I very nearly tripped but caught myself at the last moment. A sister? While I managed to say "I didn't know if that would happen" and act OK on the outside, on the inside was another matter entirely.
While Eva was helping Daybreak change into the new outfits she received for her birthday, Eva's mom pulled me off to the side and asked what my plans were regarding Eva. I had an idea as to where she was going with this but decided to be diplomatic and said I didn't want to move too fast.
She looked at me for a moment before telling me, in an almost chiding tone, not to let fear rule me. Before I could even ask what she was talking about, she told me to think about it then strode off to talk with Eva's older sisters who were sipping wine coolers.
When I was changing into my clown costume later that day, I found a single index card in my pocket. In Eva's mother's handwriting, it said:
Earlier this morning, Eva was curled up against my side while Daybreak was using my chest as a pillow. And looking at them, I realize I do treat them like family. I felt Eva move closer and smiled.
Do I know where I'll be in the unknown future?
No.
And thinking back to the morning, of watching two of the most important people in my life sleeping...the unknown doesn't seem so ominous anymore.
Quite honestly, I'm...dare I say it...looking forward to what tomorrow brings.
The weird part is that it's not the job market that scares me. I know teachers are needed everywhere and with Teach For America, I shouldn't have too much difficulty making it in the door.
It's not the election. No matter who wins, although I've made it fairly obvious who I voted for, the world will go on either way. Is there very high potential for rough times? Yes but America's a tough old broad and she won't give up without fighting with all the grit she has.
It's not the idea of being independent from my parents that scares me. Emotionally, I've been independent since I was in my early teens. Financially, I have been since about July. So that isn't it either.
In my heart of hearts, the one I hide behind smiles and a seemingly easy-going nature, I know what the problem is. I just hate admitting to it.
For as long as I can remember, I have wanted a family of my own. Despite everything I've seen and gone through, I still want to believe in happily ever after. No matter how much my mind tries to pull life support on that hope, it has yet to die. I'm realizing now that it likely never will.
I was dancing with Daybreak while she stood on my toes when she looks up at me and asks, "when are you and Mommy going to give me a little sister?" I very nearly tripped but caught myself at the last moment. A sister? While I managed to say "I didn't know if that would happen" and act OK on the outside, on the inside was another matter entirely.
While Eva was helping Daybreak change into the new outfits she received for her birthday, Eva's mom pulled me off to the side and asked what my plans were regarding Eva. I had an idea as to where she was going with this but decided to be diplomatic and said I didn't want to move too fast.
She looked at me for a moment before telling me, in an almost chiding tone, not to let fear rule me. Before I could even ask what she was talking about, she told me to think about it then strode off to talk with Eva's older sisters who were sipping wine coolers.
When I was changing into my clown costume later that day, I found a single index card in my pocket. In Eva's mother's handwriting, it said:
"Do not be afraid to live, to laugh and to love. My daughter and my granddaughter both trust you so trust in yourself to have the strength to follow your heart. It won't lead you astray.
Know that if and when the time comes, you have my blessing."
Earlier this morning, Eva was curled up against my side while Daybreak was using my chest as a pillow. And looking at them, I realize I do treat them like family. I felt Eva move closer and smiled.
Do I know where I'll be in the unknown future?
No.
And thinking back to the morning, of watching two of the most important people in my life sleeping...the unknown doesn't seem so ominous anymore.
Quite honestly, I'm...dare I say it...looking forward to what tomorrow brings.
And I'm Not Even Blaming My Dog
Dear Internet,
I know. I know. I haven't written anything since Thursday and even that was just passing along the Kreativ Blogger Award. I have an excuse and I promise it's better than any cock-and-bull story you ever told your teachers/parents/bosses/various disappointees.
As some of you may or may not know, I kind of had a packed weekend between Daybreak's 4th birthday party yesterday morning/afternoon at her Grandma's and the Haunted Lab Friday night and last night.
Friday:
7:25 Educational Theory Lecture
9:00 Theater Appreciation - usually a fun class as there is a lot of improv but this was mostly a lecture day. I ended up surfing the internet instead of listening. Oops. Did watch the last two acts of Medea though. All throughout, "Cruella De Vil" was playing through my head.
12:00-3:30: In the Lab building, making a maze, hanging plastic to block off hallways, decorating each individual scene. I have never had to move so many tables in my life.
3:30-4:30: Me and The Ginger hit up places like the mall, Wal Mart, Target, trying to sell ourselves. The Ginger got hit on. As she was wearing a short white dress with a good bit of cleavage showing, she was hit on a lot. She was pissed; I was amused.
4:30-5:00: Eat a free chick fil-a sandwich and change into costumes, I practice with the chainsaw so I can start it within 20 seconds easily.
5:30-10:30: Showtime!
11:00: get home, catch up on missed calls, shower, then bed
Saturday
7:30-9: I make Daybreak a batch of cupcakes for her birthday then meet her and Eva for breakfast at Perkin's in Durham. Yet again, I am the only black person in the joint. Eva makes many jokes at this. After that we hit the road for Eva's mom's place for the party.
9:30: Road trip to Eva's mom's for the party.
10:30-3:30: Arrive, help set up, the most hilarious game of duck-duck-goose ever, food, cake, presents, everyone mingles outside on the deck, at this point I have to head back for the second night of the haunted house.
5:00: Back in costume, chainsaw primed and ready, looking forward to chasing screamers across the parking lot again
7:24: I am chasing a woman down the sidewalk when I fail to the notice a puddle. My right leg slides inward and I hit the ground. Hard. End up spraining the knee. To my further embarrassment, this is caught on tape.
8:00: I have found a replacement and taught him what to do. I take over as a tour guide for the portion of our haunted house taking place in the woods. My basic job was to make my group of 10-15 people more paranoid than they all ready were. Judging by the shrieks and scattering later, I think I did my job well.
10:00: We pack it in for the night and we get to hear our total earnings for both nights. Over two grand, folks! That means we had over 400 people come through which is amazing.
10:30: We're all hungry so we take about seven cars and basically take over the local Chico's until 12 when we're pretty much kicked out.
12:30: Finally home. Shower immediately then straight to bed.
Best quotes of the weekend:
M: What's up negro...oh snap, you really are black! My bad, my bad.
K: (the most deadpan voice ever) Oh no, I been bit.
Me: (after hearing one girl say the haunted house wasn't so bad) We'll see about that. (run from my hiding spot with chainsaw in hand, scattering and screaming ensue)
Scared Girl: I'm not scared. I'm not scared.
Me (walking behind her with the chainsaw in the parking lot) Then why are you walking so fast?
Scared Girl: I'm not scared! (I rev the motor) AHHHHH! (takes off)
Me: We need to hit up Wal-Mart.
The Ginger: Why?
Me: Because there is no other place as scary. Just think of the mullets.
Daybreak: Papa, when are you and Mommy going to give me a little sister?
Eva(dancing with me at the party): I'm surprised Daybreak let me have you to myself for a few minutes.
Me: Your mom is excellent distraction.
Eva: Amen to that.
Shaner: Our MVP of the night, the man who had us laughing our asses off as he took off after people with a chainsaw. He made one man twice his size run to his car and lock himself in. Our psycho clown, Kendall A---.
Me: (standing up in the restaurant) You like me. (wipes away a fake tear) You really do like me.
So see Internet, I have a perfectly viable excuse for the lack of updates the last few days.
Better than saying "my dog ate them".
Marching to the beat of my own drum,
- Kendall (The Odd Duck)
I know. I know. I haven't written anything since Thursday and even that was just passing along the Kreativ Blogger Award. I have an excuse and I promise it's better than any cock-and-bull story you ever told your teachers/parents/bosses/various disappointees.
As some of you may or may not know, I kind of had a packed weekend between Daybreak's 4th birthday party yesterday morning/afternoon at her Grandma's and the Haunted Lab Friday night and last night.
Friday:
7:25 Educational Theory Lecture
9:00 Theater Appreciation - usually a fun class as there is a lot of improv but this was mostly a lecture day. I ended up surfing the internet instead of listening. Oops. Did watch the last two acts of Medea though. All throughout, "Cruella De Vil" was playing through my head.
12:00-3:30: In the Lab building, making a maze, hanging plastic to block off hallways, decorating each individual scene. I have never had to move so many tables in my life.
3:30-4:30: Me and The Ginger hit up places like the mall, Wal Mart, Target, trying to sell ourselves. The Ginger got hit on. As she was wearing a short white dress with a good bit of cleavage showing, she was hit on a lot. She was pissed; I was amused.
4:30-5:00: Eat a free chick fil-a sandwich and change into costumes, I practice with the chainsaw so I can start it within 20 seconds easily.
5:30-10:30: Showtime!
11:00: get home, catch up on missed calls, shower, then bed
Saturday
7:30-9: I make Daybreak a batch of cupcakes for her birthday then meet her and Eva for breakfast at Perkin's in Durham. Yet again, I am the only black person in the joint. Eva makes many jokes at this. After that we hit the road for Eva's mom's place for the party.
9:30: Road trip to Eva's mom's for the party.
10:30-3:30: Arrive, help set up, the most hilarious game of duck-duck-goose ever, food, cake, presents, everyone mingles outside on the deck, at this point I have to head back for the second night of the haunted house.
5:00: Back in costume, chainsaw primed and ready, looking forward to chasing screamers across the parking lot again
7:24: I am chasing a woman down the sidewalk when I fail to the notice a puddle. My right leg slides inward and I hit the ground. Hard. End up spraining the knee. To my further embarrassment, this is caught on tape.
8:00: I have found a replacement and taught him what to do. I take over as a tour guide for the portion of our haunted house taking place in the woods. My basic job was to make my group of 10-15 people more paranoid than they all ready were. Judging by the shrieks and scattering later, I think I did my job well.
10:00: We pack it in for the night and we get to hear our total earnings for both nights. Over two grand, folks! That means we had over 400 people come through which is amazing.
10:30: We're all hungry so we take about seven cars and basically take over the local Chico's until 12 when we're pretty much kicked out.
12:30: Finally home. Shower immediately then straight to bed.
Best quotes of the weekend:
M: What's up negro...oh snap, you really are black! My bad, my bad.
K: (the most deadpan voice ever) Oh no, I been bit.
Me: (after hearing one girl say the haunted house wasn't so bad) We'll see about that. (run from my hiding spot with chainsaw in hand, scattering and screaming ensue)
Scared Girl: I'm not scared. I'm not scared.
Me (walking behind her with the chainsaw in the parking lot) Then why are you walking so fast?
Scared Girl: I'm not scared! (I rev the motor) AHHHHH! (takes off)
Me: We need to hit up Wal-Mart.
The Ginger: Why?
Me: Because there is no other place as scary. Just think of the mullets.
Daybreak: Papa, when are you and Mommy going to give me a little sister?
Eva(dancing with me at the party): I'm surprised Daybreak let me have you to myself for a few minutes.
Me: Your mom is excellent distraction.
Eva: Amen to that.
Shaner: Our MVP of the night, the man who had us laughing our asses off as he took off after people with a chainsaw. He made one man twice his size run to his car and lock himself in. Our psycho clown, Kendall A---.
Me: (standing up in the restaurant) You like me. (wipes away a fake tear) You really do like me.
So see Internet, I have a perfectly viable excuse for the lack of updates the last few days.
Better than saying "my dog ate them".
Marching to the beat of my own drum,
- Kendall (The Odd Duck)
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