"We are starting off the New Year thinking all about "firsts."
So, tell us about your first kiss! Sloppy, magical, awkward, non-existent? Spill it!"
Oh, Internet, the things I put myself through for your entertainment.
Let us go back to January 2007, to a time when me and Tinkerbell are not dating yet. Actually at this point neither has admitted out loud to liking the other. We are on the hallway of her floor as she has (for 2,502,713th time) stolen my cell phone. In a moment of what I thought was brilliance I held her wrists while reaching for the phone.
"I bet I can get you to let go of me."
"How is that?"
Now I had assumed she meant kneeing me in the stomach so I prepared to move out of the way. I obviously had forgotten just who exactly I was dealing with and a lesson around Tinkerbell is to always always ALWAYS expect the unexpected. Before I really knew what was happening, she had leaned up and kissed me.
Folks if anyone had taken a picture of us at that moment here's what they would have seen.
Me with the single most pole-axed look I think I had ever had in my life and one hand absently touching my lips.
Tinkerbell with a smug grin on her face as she stepped out of my loose grip.
Because I was convinced there was no way she could like me in that way, I reasoned to myself she was merely playing around. Despite the fact that EVERY. LAST. ONE. of our friends told us to stop going in circles and start dating. Hell, one mutual friend actually refused to speak to us until we had started dating.
God, I was such an utterly clueless bastard.
But wait, it gets better.
Now I had been too surprised (which I want to beat myself for in hindsight) to kiss her back but my chance came about a week and a half later. She had walked me down to my floor as my knee had decided it wanted to be a bitch and was thus concerned I would fall down the steps. Now what she could have really done if I had aside from calling 911 I don't know but it's the thought that counts right?
Anyway, I digress.
So we're standing outside the door and I looked at her and now knowing that she did like me I decided 'to hell with it' and kissed her. I don't know about fireworks but I was most definitely lightheaded after we broke apart. We were both slightly out of breath and me being who I am just have to say something to ruin the moment.
"[Tinkerbell], what the hell are we?"
Yes, you did read that correctly.
To her credit, she merely laughed at my question instead of slugging me in the face.
Instead she has deigned not to let me live that down two years later.