It's that time again folks! My assignment from Mama Kat this week goes as follows:
- What do you do that drives your mother crazy?
Oh, let me count the ways.
Word of warning: I do use the n-word in this post just to give you a heads-up.
5...4...3...2...1...
My mom can't stand sarcasm. The fact that I almost perpetually ooze it does not sit well with her. Along with my habit of finishing her sentences when it's something obvious.
"Kendall, can you..."
"Take the trash out for you? Sure."
"I told you not to do that."
I think this may be way I enjoy annoying people so much, I've had years of practice with it.
Whenever I go home to visit, I will do chores. Mainly cooking and cleaning the kitchen. While I do so I will have my iPod playing with my headphones in. For some reason, this drives my mom nuts. Why is something I have not figured out yet.
Me making cracks about her inability to manage time. For years, me and my sister have told her that the reason we are OCD about being on time is because she never was. She can't stand that. The fact that you can probably hear the smirks in our voices doesn't help much.
We don't care.
While my mom likes Eva and adores Daybreak, she doesn't like me dating her as I shouldn't be chained down, especially to someone who has a child. This is the same woman who told me I was too uptight and should get laid when I was about 14. I wish I were joking.
The fact that I was not sure I would vote for Obama pissed her off. Me explaining that, at the time, I had only seen the man speak once at the Democratic Presidential Debates last July so I wasn't sold yet.
That I am so very pro-gay marriage. Note, I said gay marriage and not civil union. She can't stand the fact that I am closer to two lesbians (Rosie and Mami), much less that I consider them my mothers. She has called me ungrateful for this on several ocassions.
She hates the fact that I do not talk to her about my life. That I refuse to trust her. You all, whom I have known 3 months tops, know more about my life than she does.
That I want so badly to be a teacher. My mom is one of the people who subscribe to the saying, "those who can do, those who can't teach." I think she has finally given up trying to convince me to go into another field but has made it clear that her silence is under duress.
That I want nothing to do with my father. She has told me repeatedly that I need some kind of male influence in my life. My reply is always that I have gone 21 years without a dad who gave a damn, I see no reason to change that now.
And on that subject, she also says I am ungrateful as my father stayed with her which was incredibly rare where he came from. I tell her I am grateful. Grateful that he showed me exactly what kind of dad I didn't want to be.
My view on racism. I've met people of every race that I dislike, I see no reason to distrust someone solely on colour. My mom often told me that even though I can be friends with white people I shouldn't trust them. Because at the end of the day, I'm just a nigger. That always ALWAYS bothered me so I rejected that view.
Despite my many issues with her, I still love her.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
What I Know Now: A Letter to Myself (circa 12, 30, 2007)
Dear Kendall,
Hi Kendall, it's me Kendall. Sorry for the weirdness (although you really should be used to it at this point) but I've always wanted to use that line. Figure now would be my best chance.
Right now you are just beginning the road to recovery. You are just starting to deal with Rosie's death and are nowhere close to dealing with Gabi's. You still have nightmares of what you have gone through. You still think of yourself as trash.
But despite all that, you have not broken. You bent but it's like Tinkerbell told us. We're too stubborn to ever let anything break us. You want to be redeemed. You were all ready forgiven, now we just need to forgive ourselves for the wrong we've done.
You have quite the year ahead of you and you are about to meet some of the most wonderful people with some interesting times ahead.
You're going to be a teacher to a group of funny, sweet, mildly exasperating 6 year-olds among whom are a girl who will try and figure out how to make you a pet. A boy who is the first grade's answer to a ladies' man. And a girl who when she grows up, could easily become one of the most influential women in the world.
You're going to learn how to play guitar and in June will play with Pippi in front of a crowd of about 150. No, I'm not shitting you. And you are even going to sing. I'll wait for you to come back to consciousness before continuing.
Awake yet?
Good.
You know those blog things you've heard about? Well after a suggestion from Tink to write down your life story, you start one. Who would want to read it you ask? Quite a few, actually. Not sure how many actually read this. You even read other peoples' and have become friends with some.
You're even going to fall in love with someone again. You all ready know her but you two are about to become close. Her daughter will even begin to see you as her papa and as much as you fight it you'll see her as your own in return. It will start with you two studying for your upcoming psychology class together and then you'll start hanging out. Then in the summer, [Imogen] will duck out of a clubbing adventure as she has grown tired of you dancing around each other.
At this point, you're wondering what happens with Tinkerbell. In fact, I'm willing to put money down on the fact that you are now convinced that you did something to fuck up again. You did not, I promise. You two will go through a dark period over the summer but eventually things will work themselves out. A word of warning now though, do not EVER apologize for her loving you. The results won't be pretty.
We have come a long way, my friend and we still have so very far left to go.
Just remember this: "Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things."
So in closing, chin up. Remember to eat every day, it's hard I know but we are losing weight a bit too quickly. Try not to take the world's problems onto your shoulder, I know you still will as it is ingrained into who we are but I have to try. Accept the happiness in your life, we do deserve it if we merely let ourselves feel. And I will see you in the mirror soon.
The future is looking bright, my friend.
Sincerely,
Kendall, age 20.92
Hi Kendall, it's me Kendall. Sorry for the weirdness (although you really should be used to it at this point) but I've always wanted to use that line. Figure now would be my best chance.
Right now you are just beginning the road to recovery. You are just starting to deal with Rosie's death and are nowhere close to dealing with Gabi's. You still have nightmares of what you have gone through. You still think of yourself as trash.
But despite all that, you have not broken. You bent but it's like Tinkerbell told us. We're too stubborn to ever let anything break us. You want to be redeemed. You were all ready forgiven, now we just need to forgive ourselves for the wrong we've done.
You have quite the year ahead of you and you are about to meet some of the most wonderful people with some interesting times ahead.
You're going to be a teacher to a group of funny, sweet, mildly exasperating 6 year-olds among whom are a girl who will try and figure out how to make you a pet. A boy who is the first grade's answer to a ladies' man. And a girl who when she grows up, could easily become one of the most influential women in the world.
You're going to learn how to play guitar and in June will play with Pippi in front of a crowd of about 150. No, I'm not shitting you. And you are even going to sing. I'll wait for you to come back to consciousness before continuing.
Awake yet?
Good.
You know those blog things you've heard about? Well after a suggestion from Tink to write down your life story, you start one. Who would want to read it you ask? Quite a few, actually. Not sure how many actually read this. You even read other peoples' and have become friends with some.
You're even going to fall in love with someone again. You all ready know her but you two are about to become close. Her daughter will even begin to see you as her papa and as much as you fight it you'll see her as your own in return. It will start with you two studying for your upcoming psychology class together and then you'll start hanging out. Then in the summer, [Imogen] will duck out of a clubbing adventure as she has grown tired of you dancing around each other.
At this point, you're wondering what happens with Tinkerbell. In fact, I'm willing to put money down on the fact that you are now convinced that you did something to fuck up again. You did not, I promise. You two will go through a dark period over the summer but eventually things will work themselves out. A word of warning now though, do not EVER apologize for her loving you. The results won't be pretty.
We have come a long way, my friend and we still have so very far left to go.
Just remember this: "Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things."
So in closing, chin up. Remember to eat every day, it's hard I know but we are losing weight a bit too quickly. Try not to take the world's problems onto your shoulder, I know you still will as it is ingrained into who we are but I have to try. Accept the happiness in your life, we do deserve it if we merely let ourselves feel. And I will see you in the mirror soon.
The future is looking bright, my friend.
Sincerely,
Kendall, age 20.92
Monday, December 29, 2008
The Difference Between Need and Want
So today was a day that I had been looking forward to since I first started on my job back in June. My first day of training as a cook. I had been busing tables long enough that I all ready knew where everything was in the back, it was mainly learning how to prepare each dish. Then at the end of my workday, I got to prepare an order myself. Steak, medium well and a baked potato.
Watching me, The Diva commented that it was like seeing a duck in water for the first time.
I felt a sense of...I suppose accomplishment would be the right word. I like the other cooks. They may be insanely meticulous at times, kind of have to be for what they do, but they're good men and women. And funny as hell. I thought that perhaps I had found my niche.
Then as I was walking towards the bathroom, I saw Dolly and B serving tables and talking with the customers. Smiling at people as they passed by. In that one moment, I felt that I had lost something precious.
I had not talked to customers all day and even though we have the occasional asshat come through, the good ones who smile and chat are what make my day worth it. Losing that interaction hurt. I loved seeing the looks as they would pass on praise for good service to other servers or to the cooks. I loved the banter me and Dolly could go through as we worked our sections. I love the lulls we have in customers where we can actually speak with the people we serve.
I don't want to give that up.
So despite the fact that my wage would have increased about 3 dollars per hour, I am pretty sure I am not meant to be in the back preparing food. I know I am a good cook, and with enough experience perhaps a great one but for now, that is not where I am supposed to be.
I thought I would be making the right choice. I thought I would find myself thinking how glad I was that my time as a server was over. I thought I would be happy.
I'm not.
Sometimes we do get what we want, only to find out we all ready had what we need.
Watching me, The Diva commented that it was like seeing a duck in water for the first time.
I felt a sense of...I suppose accomplishment would be the right word. I like the other cooks. They may be insanely meticulous at times, kind of have to be for what they do, but they're good men and women. And funny as hell. I thought that perhaps I had found my niche.
Then as I was walking towards the bathroom, I saw Dolly and B serving tables and talking with the customers. Smiling at people as they passed by. In that one moment, I felt that I had lost something precious.
I had not talked to customers all day and even though we have the occasional asshat come through, the good ones who smile and chat are what make my day worth it. Losing that interaction hurt. I loved seeing the looks as they would pass on praise for good service to other servers or to the cooks. I loved the banter me and Dolly could go through as we worked our sections. I love the lulls we have in customers where we can actually speak with the people we serve.
I don't want to give that up.
So despite the fact that my wage would have increased about 3 dollars per hour, I am pretty sure I am not meant to be in the back preparing food. I know I am a good cook, and with enough experience perhaps a great one but for now, that is not where I am supposed to be.
I thought I would be making the right choice. I thought I would find myself thinking how glad I was that my time as a server was over. I thought I would be happy.
I'm not.
Sometimes we do get what we want, only to find out we all ready had what we need.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Bienvenido a Los Gemelos Nuevos
You two have no idea how much excitement has surrounded your arrival. It seems like it's been a lot longer than seven months since I found out about you. Now I get to meet you in person instead of talking to your mom's tummy like I did back in May.
As soon as I heard about you two showing up, early I might add, I cleared my schedule for this weekend and fully intend to wake up Friday before dawn and make the 12-plus hour drive to meet you in person. Speaking of being early, are we sure you're Mami's kids? This is the woman who once told me, "I'm never late. I arrive exactly when I mean to."
But I digress.
I can't wait until you two are older and we can really hang out. This is part of why I hate that Mami lives so far away now. I can't see you all as often as I would like but you had best believe that whenever I have the chance, you'll see that green Nissan pull up outside your window. When you're teenagers, maybe you'll just fly down on your own to stay with me while I (try as I may to deny it to your mom) will probably spoil you rotten.
I think I'm entitled.
Oh and I feel sorry for you Little Miss I, because you get me as a big brother figure, and when I want to, I can intimidate people. A skill I intend to use should any boy you deign to date not measure up. But don't worry, I'm pretty sure that will be unnecessary. But before you get excited and assume you're off the hook, I have to burst your bubble. Any boy you date has to deal with Mami first and any one who can pass her scrutiny will pass my muster. Little Mister G, same goes with you and girls. Just pray your mom is NOT the one who gives you the talk.
Next Christmas you two will be close to one year old and I have all ready seen some little Santa hats that would be adorable on you. Your mom and R will have you dressed up as elves, it's amazing how funny that is now that someone else is going to be subjected to that instead of myself. We'll sing songs while you two babble some of the words and generally make everyone's hearts melt around you.
When you two graduate from high school and later college, I will be there. Tissues in one hand and camera in the other. I'll be fit to burst with pride, love, happiness, and just a little bit of sadness. It was bad enough watching Mil graduate from high school, seeing you two walk across that stage will mean you are getting older. That so very much time has passed since the time I saw you as little more than a bump under Mami's shirt.
Your mom, along with her wife, took in a quasi-neglected 8 year-old boy and now a bit over 12 years later has asked that same boy to take on the role of godfather to you two. It meant more than I know how to vocalize just how much that meant to me. Me and Mami have been through a lot, the past year has been full of tears and no small amount of anger but we're passed it now. Here's my first lesson to you, you and your family will fight. It's inevitable. However, don't ever doubt they love you. Any of us would give our right arm for you. And each other for that matter.
One day you'll be grow up, go to school, get jobs, maybe get married, maybe have children of your own. I can only hope that throughout all that you stay true to yourselves, be happy, never become so busy you fail to consider the hearts of others, and most importantly, remember that I love you.
I promise here and now that I will do everything in my power to do right by you both. It seems fitting that your mom taught me to have faith in family and now I get to return the favour to you two. Full circle and all that.
Welcome to the world little ones, it's a brighter place with you in it.
Lovingly yours,
Kendall
P. S. I make no promises about not embarrassing you too much. I will take exorbitant amounts of pictures whenever I see you, I expect a dance with Little Miss I should she ever get married, and childhood stories will be told to any significant other. Sorry kids, it's all part of my job description.
As soon as I heard about you two showing up, early I might add, I cleared my schedule for this weekend and fully intend to wake up Friday before dawn and make the 12-plus hour drive to meet you in person. Speaking of being early, are we sure you're Mami's kids? This is the woman who once told me, "I'm never late. I arrive exactly when I mean to."
But I digress.
I can't wait until you two are older and we can really hang out. This is part of why I hate that Mami lives so far away now. I can't see you all as often as I would like but you had best believe that whenever I have the chance, you'll see that green Nissan pull up outside your window. When you're teenagers, maybe you'll just fly down on your own to stay with me while I (try as I may to deny it to your mom) will probably spoil you rotten.
I think I'm entitled.
Oh and I feel sorry for you Little Miss I, because you get me as a big brother figure, and when I want to, I can intimidate people. A skill I intend to use should any boy you deign to date not measure up. But don't worry, I'm pretty sure that will be unnecessary. But before you get excited and assume you're off the hook, I have to burst your bubble. Any boy you date has to deal with Mami first and any one who can pass her scrutiny will pass my muster. Little Mister G, same goes with you and girls. Just pray your mom is NOT the one who gives you the talk.
Next Christmas you two will be close to one year old and I have all ready seen some little Santa hats that would be adorable on you. Your mom and R will have you dressed up as elves, it's amazing how funny that is now that someone else is going to be subjected to that instead of myself. We'll sing songs while you two babble some of the words and generally make everyone's hearts melt around you.
When you two graduate from high school and later college, I will be there. Tissues in one hand and camera in the other. I'll be fit to burst with pride, love, happiness, and just a little bit of sadness. It was bad enough watching Mil graduate from high school, seeing you two walk across that stage will mean you are getting older. That so very much time has passed since the time I saw you as little more than a bump under Mami's shirt.
Your mom, along with her wife, took in a quasi-neglected 8 year-old boy and now a bit over 12 years later has asked that same boy to take on the role of godfather to you two. It meant more than I know how to vocalize just how much that meant to me. Me and Mami have been through a lot, the past year has been full of tears and no small amount of anger but we're passed it now. Here's my first lesson to you, you and your family will fight. It's inevitable. However, don't ever doubt they love you. Any of us would give our right arm for you. And each other for that matter.
One day you'll be grow up, go to school, get jobs, maybe get married, maybe have children of your own. I can only hope that throughout all that you stay true to yourselves, be happy, never become so busy you fail to consider the hearts of others, and most importantly, remember that I love you.
I promise here and now that I will do everything in my power to do right by you both. It seems fitting that your mom taught me to have faith in family and now I get to return the favour to you two. Full circle and all that.
Welcome to the world little ones, it's a brighter place with you in it.
Lovingly yours,
Kendall
P. S. I make no promises about not embarrassing you too much. I will take exorbitant amounts of pictures whenever I see you, I expect a dance with Little Miss I should she ever get married, and childhood stories will be told to any significant other. Sorry kids, it's all part of my job description.
Soundtrack to Life
It's been a while since I had done a meme. It's open so anyone who wants to do it can. Just comment with a link to your post when you're done.
Here's how it works...Put your iPod or whatever music player you have on shuffle. The first song that you hear will be the song for your Opening Scene. Skip to the next song, this is your next category. Keep doing this until the end.
Opening Scene: Savin' Me - Nickelback
Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be.
Wake Up Scene: This Is How We Do It - Montell Jordan
This is how we do it, all the hands are in the air
And wave them from here to there
If you're an O. G. mack or a wanna-be playa
Average Day: What Do Ya Think About That? - Montgomery Gentry
Some people care about what other people think
Worry about what they say
Let a little gossip coming from a loose lip
Ruin a perfect day
1st Date: For Good - Wicked (Original Broadway Cast)
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you
Falling In Love: If You're Reading This - Tim McGraw
If you're reading this there's gonna come a day
When you move on and find someone else but that's okay
Just remember this I'm in a better place
Where soldiers live in peace and angels sing "Amazing Grace"
Fight Scene: 10,000 Fists - Disturbed
People can no longer cover their eyes
If this disturbs you then walk away
You will remember the night you were struck by the sight of
Ten thousand fists in the air!
Break Up Scene: Wasted - Carrie Underwood
I don't wanna spend my life jaded
Waitin' to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Back Together: I Believe I Can Fly - R. Kelly
I used to think that I could not go on
And life was nothing but an awful song
But now I know the meaning of true love
I'm leaning on the everlasting arms
Secret Love: Through Heaven's Eyes - Disney's The Prince of Egypt
If a man lose ev'ry thing he owns
Has he truly lost his worth?
Or is it the beginning
Of a new and brighter birth?
Life's OK: Ready, Set, Don't Go - Billy Ray Cyrus
This is where I don't say
What I want so bad to say
This is where I want to
But I won't get in the way
Of her and her dreams
And spreadin' her wings
Mental Breakdown: Our Town - James Taylor
Main street isn't main street anymore
Lights don't shine as brightly as they shown before
Tell the truth, lights don't shine at all
In our town
Driving: Everyday (Family Reunion) - Chaka Ghan & Gerald Levert
We should speak
From the heart
And let love be the solution
Let us forgive
And put the past away
No time to wait
The time has come to give love everyday
Learning A Lesson: I Can Go The Distance - Disney's Hercules
But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
Because a hero's strength is measured by his heart
Deep Thought: Fly Me to The Moon - Frank Sinatra
Fill my heart with love
Let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you
Flashback: Find Yourself - Brad Paisley
Well you go through life, so sure of where you're heading
And you wind up lost and it's the best thing that could have happened
'Cause sometimes when you lose your way it's really just as well
Partying: ABC - Jackson 5
Reading and writing arithmetic
Are the branches of the learning tree
But listen without the root of love, girl
Your education ain't complete
Happy Dance: My Girl - The Temptations
I've got so much honey
The bees envy me
I've got a sweeter song
Than the birds in the trees
Regretting: Black Horse & The Cherry Tree - KT Tunstall
Well my heart knows me better than myself
So I'm gonna let it do all the talking
I come across a place in the middle of nowhere
With a black horse and a cherry tree
Long Night Alone: Behind Those Eyes - Three Doors Down
There's something I can't see
There's something different in the way you smile
Behind those eyes you lie
And there's nothing I can say
'Cause I'm never gonna change your mind
Behind those eyes you hide
Death Scene: Waitin' On A Woman - Brad Paisley
I've read somewhere statistics show
The man's always the first to go
And that makes sense 'cause I know she won't be ready
So when it finally comes my time
And I get to the other side
I'll find myself a bench, if they've got any
I hope she takes her time, 'cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman.
Closing Credits: This Is Halloween - Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas
This is Halloween, everybody make a scene
Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright
It's our town, everybody scream
In this town of Halloween
Here's how it works...Put your iPod or whatever music player you have on shuffle. The first song that you hear will be the song for your Opening Scene. Skip to the next song, this is your next category. Keep doing this until the end.
Opening Scene: Savin' Me - Nickelback
Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be.
Wake Up Scene: This Is How We Do It - Montell Jordan
This is how we do it, all the hands are in the air
And wave them from here to there
If you're an O. G. mack or a wanna-be playa
Average Day: What Do Ya Think About That? - Montgomery Gentry
Some people care about what other people think
Worry about what they say
Let a little gossip coming from a loose lip
Ruin a perfect day
1st Date: For Good - Wicked (Original Broadway Cast)
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you
Falling In Love: If You're Reading This - Tim McGraw
If you're reading this there's gonna come a day
When you move on and find someone else but that's okay
Just remember this I'm in a better place
Where soldiers live in peace and angels sing "Amazing Grace"
Fight Scene: 10,000 Fists - Disturbed
People can no longer cover their eyes
If this disturbs you then walk away
You will remember the night you were struck by the sight of
Ten thousand fists in the air!
Break Up Scene: Wasted - Carrie Underwood
I don't wanna spend my life jaded
Waitin' to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Back Together: I Believe I Can Fly - R. Kelly
I used to think that I could not go on
And life was nothing but an awful song
But now I know the meaning of true love
I'm leaning on the everlasting arms
Secret Love: Through Heaven's Eyes - Disney's The Prince of Egypt
If a man lose ev'ry thing he owns
Has he truly lost his worth?
Or is it the beginning
Of a new and brighter birth?
Life's OK: Ready, Set, Don't Go - Billy Ray Cyrus
This is where I don't say
What I want so bad to say
This is where I want to
But I won't get in the way
Of her and her dreams
And spreadin' her wings
Mental Breakdown: Our Town - James Taylor
Main street isn't main street anymore
Lights don't shine as brightly as they shown before
Tell the truth, lights don't shine at all
In our town
Driving: Everyday (Family Reunion) - Chaka Ghan & Gerald Levert
We should speak
From the heart
And let love be the solution
Let us forgive
And put the past away
No time to wait
The time has come to give love everyday
Learning A Lesson: I Can Go The Distance - Disney's Hercules
But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
Because a hero's strength is measured by his heart
Deep Thought: Fly Me to The Moon - Frank Sinatra
Fill my heart with love
Let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you
Flashback: Find Yourself - Brad Paisley
Well you go through life, so sure of where you're heading
And you wind up lost and it's the best thing that could have happened
'Cause sometimes when you lose your way it's really just as well
Partying: ABC - Jackson 5
Reading and writing arithmetic
Are the branches of the learning tree
But listen without the root of love, girl
Your education ain't complete
Happy Dance: My Girl - The Temptations
I've got so much honey
The bees envy me
I've got a sweeter song
Than the birds in the trees
Regretting: Black Horse & The Cherry Tree - KT Tunstall
Well my heart knows me better than myself
So I'm gonna let it do all the talking
I come across a place in the middle of nowhere
With a black horse and a cherry tree
Long Night Alone: Behind Those Eyes - Three Doors Down
There's something I can't see
There's something different in the way you smile
Behind those eyes you lie
And there's nothing I can say
'Cause I'm never gonna change your mind
Behind those eyes you hide
Death Scene: Waitin' On A Woman - Brad Paisley
I've read somewhere statistics show
The man's always the first to go
And that makes sense 'cause I know she won't be ready
So when it finally comes my time
And I get to the other side
I'll find myself a bench, if they've got any
I hope she takes her time, 'cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman.
Closing Credits: This Is Halloween - Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas
This is Halloween, everybody make a scene
Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright
It's our town, everybody scream
In this town of Halloween
Saturday, December 27, 2008
To Mr. Kris Kringle, A Thank You
Dear Santa,
I know, I know. You must be wondering why I'm writing again when I just wrote that letter earlier in the week. Well since I just posted about appreciated things while you still have them I would feel remiss if I did not thank you.
Me and Eva have had several long talk and as of approx. 6 PM today, we are back together. I spent part of Christmas morning with her and Daybreak before heading to The Godmother's and later on in the day at her mom's who then insisted I stay for a while.
I found myself started to question if I was right during the summer. If needing people was only inviting trouble. But I would like to think I have felt all I have just to prove that my younger self was wrong. That I cannot make it through life without others. I would be lying through my teeth if I said I wasn't miserable.
Now seeing as how Mami will be giving birth soon, I can only pray that you make it two for two.
Humbly yours,
Kendall
I know, I know. You must be wondering why I'm writing again when I just wrote that letter earlier in the week. Well since I just posted about appreciated things while you still have them I would feel remiss if I did not thank you.
Me and Eva have had several long talk and as of approx. 6 PM today, we are back together. I spent part of Christmas morning with her and Daybreak before heading to The Godmother's and later on in the day at her mom's who then insisted I stay for a while.
I found myself started to question if I was right during the summer. If needing people was only inviting trouble. But I would like to think I have felt all I have just to prove that my younger self was wrong. That I cannot make it through life without others. I would be lying through my teeth if I said I wasn't miserable.
Now seeing as how Mami will be giving birth soon, I can only pray that you make it two for two.
Humbly yours,
Kendall
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Small Points of Light
Thanks for the comments, Fbook messages, and emails in response to my last post folks, you have no idea how much I appreciated them.
I spent the weekend and Monday in Delaware with my family for my grandmére's
surprise birthday party. I saw my cousins and aunts who I normally see only once a year, I came down with a slight cold, I watched the Ravens whoop on the Cowboys, and I have a scar on my fingers from playing so much pool. All in all, it was a blast.
Yesterday was filled with doing my last round of Christmas shopping, playing with my puppy, and then meeting The Spawn at a bar in Raleigh where we spent the night hanging out with his friends, trying to get one of his friends a date, laughing at our incredibly intoxicated friend, and in general just goofing off. I had never been to this bar or any other, I've been to plenty of clubs sure but never to a bar. Must say that I enjoyed that experience.
I am supposed to be meeting Eva today as she asked me to come by sometime this evening. For what purpose exactly, I don't know yet but I am trying not to have a panic attack thinking about the possible outcome. Fingers crossed, kids.
But now I need to head to the grocery store since I am cooking my friends breakfast this morning. Rachel Ray and Paula Dean really are my therapists. Hmm, wonder what they charge by the hour?
Last but not least, if you are in the Raleigh area tonight around 7 or 8 and you see a group of people wearing Santa hats then look sharp, because one of them is most likely myself.
A Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Good Night!
I spent the weekend and Monday in Delaware with my family for my grandmére's
surprise birthday party. I saw my cousins and aunts who I normally see only once a year, I came down with a slight cold, I watched the Ravens whoop on the Cowboys, and I have a scar on my fingers from playing so much pool. All in all, it was a blast.
Yesterday was filled with doing my last round of Christmas shopping, playing with my puppy, and then meeting The Spawn at a bar in Raleigh where we spent the night hanging out with his friends, trying to get one of his friends a date, laughing at our incredibly intoxicated friend, and in general just goofing off. I had never been to this bar or any other, I've been to plenty of clubs sure but never to a bar. Must say that I enjoyed that experience.
I am supposed to be meeting Eva today as she asked me to come by sometime this evening. For what purpose exactly, I don't know yet but I am trying not to have a panic attack thinking about the possible outcome. Fingers crossed, kids.
But now I need to head to the grocery store since I am cooking my friends breakfast this morning. Rachel Ray and Paula Dean really are my therapists. Hmm, wonder what they charge by the hour?
Last but not least, if you are in the Raleigh area tonight around 7 or 8 and you see a group of people wearing Santa hats then look sharp, because one of them is most likely myself.
A Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Good Night!
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