I would spent the next three years or so thinking of God as a sadistic, overgrown child with a magnifying glass and an ant farm. Until a trip to Italy and a walk inside the Sistine Chapel changed my life. Looking at the painted ceiling and hearing people burst into tears, I couldn't believe God to be malevolent.
No cruel being could be the subject of something so breathtakingly beautiful.
At this point, I could not look anyone in the eye. And my gaze completely avoided the pew where my roommate, his girlfriend, my neighbour, my girlfriend, and her daughter were seated together. I had tears gathering in my eyes and was just waiting for Father Oak to tell me to leave and not come back.
The first thing I heard were the sounds of sniffling throughout the crowd. Then I saw them. My girlfriend and her 3 year-old daughter had stood and were walking toward me. Both were crying.
Her daughter Daybreak let go of her mother's hand, moved to stand in front of me, and held up her arms. I gathered her into mine and as she buried her face in the crook of my neck, she whispered four little words.
"I love you, Papa."
Then her mother, Eva, wrapped her arms around my waist and said she loved me as well and that she was proud of how far I had come since then. I am not sure how long the three of us stood there. Just holding each other.
Then I feel another face rest against my back as my roommate's girlfriend hugs me from behind and a hand on her shoulder from my roommate. Finally, a hand wrapped around my free one as my neighbour stood by my side.
This scene alone was enough to make tears actually course down my cheeks but it was the finale that made me start to sob.
Slowly people stood from where they were standing. First the children from my Sunday School class with their parents, then the other people my age in the youth group, my friends from the Choir, and then most of the congregation.
All were circled around us and saying such things as "thank you", "we're proud of you", and "we love you".
The people I had been afraid would scorn me for a mistake I made years ago had started a mass group hug around me. I was not alone. They did not look down on me. They were all a part of my family and were loved as such. I stood there in a sea of arms and smiles and had to smile through my tears.
Sometimes it really is nice to have your faith rewarded.
Marching to the beat of my own drum,
The Odd Duckling
Sunday, September 28, 2008
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I told you Sweetie, you are a much better person than you think you are. I wouldn't want to be with you if you weren't.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, me and Dawn want more cheesecake. : )